Tag Archives: dating
OK Cupid is shit now
One of the things I’m finding hilarious about dating again, eleven years after the last time I was single, is that no matter how compatible or otherwise my date and I might be, there is one fact on which we always agree: OK Cupid is shit now. This isn’t a problem with an obvious, easy solution, I just think that when you realise something truly good is gone, it’s important to allow yourself time and space to mourn. OK Cupid sucks horrible arse these days, and I know I’m late to this revelation but I’m super fucking sad about it, and I wanted to have a little rant.
Roses are over: this Valentine’s, we’re upgrading to chocolate dick
Sometimes the stars align into a constellation that literally spells out “I HAVE THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD, GODDAMMIT”, and so it was on the 20th January this year, when I got a little message from a shipping company telling me my package from Intimate Chocolate had arrived. My package of a gigantic, delicious, beautiful hazlenut-and-chocolate dick. I am supposed to ‘review’ this for the website, but you lot know me by now and so what I’m actually going to do is wax lyrical about how fucking awesome this whole situation is, then tell you how I got overexcited and suggested to a mate who was visiting that we should competitively deep-throat it.
In which I explain Final Fantasy and also something about men
The thing you need to know about men – perhaps not ALL men, but nearly all the men that I’ve ever had the pleasure of fucking into a sticky paste – is that they love explaining things. If you happen to be a horny, slutty woman who wants to get it on with a man, in my opinion the best way to achieve that is to find a topic that he has expertise on, or a nerdy fascination with, and ask him to explain it to you. Today’s blog begins on my living-room floor: this dude and I are sitting cross-legged eating Doritos and vaping giggly weed while he explains to me the plot of Final Fantasy.
Things I need you to know about the sex blog
An imaginary conversation with an imaginary guy who does not yet know about the sex blog. File this, along with so much else, under ‘why I’m not on dating sites right now.’
Guest blog: What I learned as a horny dating scholar
I’m delighted to welcome this week’s guest blogger, who is here to talk about their wide range of dating experiences. What’s different about dating when you’re perceived as a cis woman vs a gay man? And although no experience is universal, are there any dating experiences that come close to that? Please welcome Mel McGovern, a non-binary dating enthusiast who you can find on Patreon, on Twitter @futurephoria, and on Instagram @futurephoria.
CN: brief mentions of rape