This erotic fiction in which a guy enlists a stunt cock to help him teach another friend some BJ tricks is written and read by Euphemise This. 

Danya was excited to be back at uni for her final year, even though she knew that there probably wouldn’t be as much time for extra-curricular activities if she wanted to get a first. After unpacking, she headed to the kitchen to make herself a coffee but couldn’t face her housemates’ poor taste in instant so messaged Nate to see if he fancied meeting at Starbucks for a pumpkin spiced latte and a summer’s worth of gossip.

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First things first: when people say ‘it happens all the time!’ I cannot stress enough just how true this actually is. Perhaps I’m wildly unattractive or extremely intimidating (lol ‘perhaps’ – I have been informed on various occasions that I am both of these things, but some men choose to fuck me anyway so I’m gonna work on the assumption that they’re not just making it up for lolz) but rest assured it’s reasonably common. Please trust me on this – I’m a big slag who has been lucky enough to spend a lot of time with dick. Most people I’ve shagged for any length of time have at some point found they can’t get an erection. I am not qualified to tell you how to magically make one appear, but I can give you some suggestions on what to do if you find yourself in that situation and you struggle to move past it.

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A few days before we’re due to hang out, he texts me a fantasy. Couched in the standard consent-focused caveats (“Only if that sounds hot to you…”) that I find extremely cute – they function essentially as the ‘no worries if not!’ of fucking. His request is neat, specific, and very easy to achieve: he wants to arrive at my place, have me greet him at the door with no words whatsoever, then as soon as he’s inside, drop to my knees and start sucking his dick. No words, just cocksucking.

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If there’s a topic on which I’m likely to bond with almost anyone in the world, it’s suckjobs. Take note, lest you and I are ever stuck in a lift together and need to make smalltalk for a few hours till the fire brigade comes, opening with ‘I love giving blowjobs, how about you?’ will guarantee we fill the time without ever needing to mention how the weather’s been lately. This week’s guest blogger has this in common too – JD loves giving blowjobs, and is here to explain in delicious and sexy detail exactly what’s so hot about them. Sadly, as a bisexual AMAB person (AMAB = assigned male at birth), in order to indulge in their love of cocksucking, JD has had to put up with a hefty amount of biphobia and other fuckery from the people whose dicks they’re sucking. Here today with the perfect blend of ‘horny content’ and ‘important education on how not to be a cock when you’re getting your dick sucked’, they explain…

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Listen up, my friend. Come closer. I have something very important to tell you. Your dick is fucking fantastic. Really, truly outstanding. Since the first time I grasped it through the fabric of your boxers I knew: this dick will work wonders. It’s a memorable cock. It literally sparks fucking joy. That same dick can also, I assure you, break hearts. So I’m gonna say something that I do not say to everyone: you’ve got an exceptional dick, please use it wisely.

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