Tag Archives: dick
Going commando and the sexiness of not knowing
A long time ago, a beautiful man I knew wore a kilt to a party. Like many men who wear kilts to parties, he immediately made a joke about whether he was going commando. His statement was an ambiguous ‘maybe’ followed by a nudge and a wink that invited us to wonder. Never one to pass up an invitation like that, I spent the entire rest of the night wondering. In detail.
Porn… in just a minute
If you’re not familiar with the BBC Radio 4 programme Just A Minute then this post is going to seem a bit weird. The rules are that panelists must speak for as long as they can on a certain subject without repetition, hesitation or deviation. And although I don’t have a panel of fellow pornographers with whom to play this game verbally, I thought it might be fun to give it a go when writing erotica.
Grower or shower: great dick expectations
Answer the question quickly before you have too much time to think: which kind of dicks are better – growers or showers? ‘Growers’ meaning dicks which look fairly small when flaccid, but ‘grow’ a lot while they’re getting erect, ‘showers’ meaning dicks which get hard during erection, but ‘show’ most of their size even when flaccid. Which is better – grower or shower? Got your answer? OK, let’s get into this.
In praise of the badly-named ‘penile raphe’
Language is important, and words matter. I’ll assume you’re with me this far, because you’re reading a sex blog rather than looking at naughty pictures on one of those other websites I’ve heard about. Words are fucking sexy. They can also be truly appallingly inadequate, and nowhere is this more clear than when trying to describe something hot only to find you have none of the right tools to do it properly. Today I would like your help in renaming one of the sexiest parts of human anatomy: the penile raphe. What exactly is the penile raphe? Allow me to explain.
How to give the worst blow job ever
Sorry if you were hoping to start 2017 off on a positive note, but I have the worst blow job tips ever to share with you. They are called – brace yourself – “7 Ways To Make Giving A Blow Job Go Faster.” CAN YOU IMAGINE. I can think of two acceptable ways to ‘make giving a blow job go faster’ if you want it to stop soon: either you say ‘let’s switch to something else’ or you say ‘let’s have a break and a sandwich.’
Spoiler: neither of these are on the list of tips.