…and the answers made me weep tears of joy. A couple of weeks ago, the lovely people at Godemiche (who make an incredible range of cool dildos) gave me a handmade, custom dildo to give away. To enter, all people had to do was complete the sentence:

‘If I were a dildo scientist, I’d make…’ 

We had some hilarious, beautiful and ingenious answers. Below is a selection of highlights, as well as the five runners-up. Please vote for your favourite, and the person with the most votes at midnight on Monday 1st August will receive the gorgeous custom dildo pictured above.

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At this year’s Eroticon, there was a table covered in what I can only describe as a rainbow of dildos. In a huge variety of colours, with gorgeous designs and occasionally beautiful things actually encased in the silicone. The company, Godemiche, is run by Adam and Monika, who are not only geniuses but they’re super-passionate about dildo-making.

I squealed and marvelled at their amazing creations, then eventually asked if it was possible to make a dildo with my logo in it, because I am a professional blogger now, so I have to consider my #brand. They are dildo scientists, so the answer was ‘of course’, and a couple of weeks later I’m the proud owner of a super-cool handmade custom dildo. And you can win it, because I am nice like that and I like running weird competitions. See below to find out how it could be yours…

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