Remember a few months ago when I turned my Fleshlight Launch into a spunk-milking machine? Well, I decided I needed a new project, so I got stuck in to some more kinky DIY: turning my coffee table into a customised spanking bench. I’ve wanted something like this for a while, but buying nice, heavy, padded furniture to get thoroughly fucked on can seriously bugger your wallet. A proper bondage horse can set you back over $1,000 (about £740) and even just a flat, padded BDSM board that you could put on a table somewhere costs nearly $300 (£220) So I wanted to see if I could do it cheaper myself.

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Sometimes a girl just gets an idea that won’t leave her head until she has made it happen. And when I first saw The Big Gay Review’s post about the Fleshlight Launch, I realised that this automated dick-stroking gadget could potentially be adapted to make one of my sexiest dreams come true: the dream I have about orgasm, and watching a guy get milked of all his lovely spunk. So I nagged Fleshlight, got them to send me a Launch, then settled down in my workshop to build a thing. Behold: The Machine.

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