It’s that time of year again! February! The bit just before the 14th when everyone’s telling you to buy sex toys. Instead of just telling you to buy stuff, I am going to share with you some horny ideas for Valentine’s Day, then tell you that if you like those ideas you’re welcome to reward me by giving me good girl points clicking the links and buying cool things from the companies which sponsor this website. There are some amazing companies on the list (porn! Audio porn! Sex toys!), and my horny ideas are all ones you and a partner (or two, or three, or four) can put into practice with (I hope) relatively little effort, and either low cost (all but one are less than £50) or completely free. Don’t say I never treat you right. And even if you’re not in the market to buy, I hope you’ll enjoy these mini porn stories anyway. I had a super horny time writing them.

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This lovely ode to the joy of fucking is written by Ms Naughty who runs Bright Desire, and is read by Girl on the Net. Bright Desire sponsor my blog and make beautiful porn – both audio and video. Click the link to check out more glorious filth! 

Fuck. It’s such a potent word. So strong, so sexual, so taboo. I love to say fuck, just as I love to fuck. A good session of fucking can be made so much more by an accompanying session of talking fuck.

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This fabulous erotic fiction piece about fucking a goddess is written by Scorpio Appetites, it originally appeared on his website and it’s brought to life as audio porn by the wonderful Sherryl Blu. 

The men climb the path to her cave, seeking to worship her. They carry jars of sweet wine, dark bunches of grapes and cakes that glisten with honey, but her eye is drawn to their sun-warmed shoulders and bright, hungry eyes. She stands in the shadow of smooth sandstone and watches them with tourmaline gaze. She is horned, with skin like shattered marble, but her dark parts beat with human desire and her fingers long to close around the throat of men bound to her pleasure.

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Every time Christmas rolls round, I feel terrible that I am unable to produce a saucy Santa story for your enjoyment. I’ve done a story about being unwrapped like a gift, a cute(ish) story about heading home for the holidays, and a Christmas gang bang, but nothing that features the King of Presents himself. I think I just struggle to get into a sexy Santa headspace. Luckily, this year, Tony has stepped in to bring a bit of festive magic, with a genderflipped Santa and an ethereal Christmas party shag…

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This fabulous erotic fiction piece about romantic outdoor sex is written by Spencer Pritchard, and read aloud by Luke. 

Your train pulls up to the platform and those butterflies in your stomach, subdued by the inevitable delays, suddenly leap back in to life and begin their merry dance again. Will I be on the platform, waiting with a crass sign in hand, your pseudonym bold black tarnishing the virginity of the white card it’s printed on? Will I be sat outside in a hire car, listening to the radio and only notice you stood there after 5 long minutes? Will I have got tired of waiting for the late train to arrive and headed to the small lochside bungalow alone, leaving you to make your own way, each one of the thousands of butterflies slowly dying as the seconds pass on the long journey?

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