There’s just one week to go until we open the doors to Eroticon 2017. Three days left to buy tickets. Seven days for me to write endless lists, phone co-organisers Molly and Michael in a panic, and eventually sigh with relief when I realise they are totally on top of things and I am just an anxious twat. If you can’t come to Eroticon yourself, here’s a great way to get involved and learn a little about the fabulous writers and speakers who’ll be there with us. The Eroticon Anthology.

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It’s just over two weeks until Eroticon – the UK event for sex writers that has been the highlight of my year since I first went in 2014. I’m simultaneously excited and nervous, because this year I’m helping to organise it. As part of the conf, to help people get to know each other, each year Molly runs a ‘meet and greet.’ So: if you’re coming, copy the questions from the meet and greet post, and fill in your answers. Then share it, tag @EroticonUK, and meet some of the people who’ll be coming along.

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Sometimes I wish I could see the future before I make an important decision. I’d jump at the chance to gaze into a murky crystal ball and find out which relationships would work out, which heartbreaks I could avoid, which projects would be successful. But if I really could see the future, I’d probably have had less fun.

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Two things this week features the best sex writing conference in the UK (AKA Eroticon), and how to get a free ticket if you’re strapped for cash. After that, we’ll dive into watersports. Thanks to a leaked dossier, I’m not the only sex writer who’ll be paying January’s gas bill by writing articles about Presidential piss parties.

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You know the old folk song that goes like this?

O dear, what can the matter be?
Dear, dear, what can the matter be?
O dear, what can the matter be?
Johnny’s so long at the fair.

I wrote it with some dirty song lyrics.

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