This gorgeous fuckbuddy blowjob story is written and read by EuphemiseThis, and it originally appeared on her website. 

Everyone needs that kind of friend. You know the one. A person who you can completely relax around, who you never need to impress or show off to, and who appreciates that humans are complex imperfect beings. Ideally, a friend who also finds you incredibly hot. This is the friend who you can watch cheesy tv shows with, share snacks and talk about bullshit, but then gleefully and hungrily jump each other’s bones. The sort of person who is enthusiastic whether the suggested activity involves takeaway, Netflix, or sex toys.

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I wrote this last week when I was excited to go to a festival, pondering whether this might be the first time I ever got laid at one. I always have this romantic fantasy of finding a festival boyfriend – someone who I can snog while the bands are on, who then disappears into the night, not seen again until (perhaps) next year. But then every time I go to a festival with the aim of getting laid, I fail. But failure here is sweet and this is why. 

He catches your eye in the beer tent, your festival boyfriend. Gives you a smile and a nod. Mouths ‘cool shirt’ and lifts his plastic pint in a casual salute. You smile back, flushing hot with nervous energy, and wonder if you should go over and say hello. But you’re struggling to catch the attention of the stoner who’s working the bar, and you’ve got to get back to your friends. Besides, by the time you turn round, full hands sticky with cider, he’s gone. Your festival boyfriend has disappeared into the crowd.

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Hands up: I confess I’ve been guilty of taking sex far too seriously. In the past, when I was young and awkward and terrified of being laughed at, I found it hard to see why I should bring laughter into the bedroom. These days, though, thanks to some fabulously laid-back, horny people, there are plenty of bursts of giggly joy in my bedroom. Few that are as creative as some of @ht_honey‘s amazing examples, though! You may remember Honey from this awesome piece about subdrop. Well, today she’s back with an absolutely gorgeous piece on the joy of giggling during a kink scene. I challenge you to read right through to the end without breaking into a massive grin…

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I tiptoe into the flat through the door she’s left unlocked, because I don’t want to wake her when I get in. On the pillow in the spare bedroom, she’s left a fresh towel and two chocolates, and seeing them makes my heart burst with love. I spy from the hallway that the light is on in her room, so I can’t resist asking: “psst – you up?” I could wait till tomorrow to talk to her, but I’m brimming with eagerness now. I can spill all the details over ham and cheese croissants at breakfast, but she is awake right now, so she says “yes! Come in! Report back! Did you get alllllll the spunk?”

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This post is just a random collection of lessons I learned in 2021, and if I’m honest it’s also partly a vehicle for me to share with you some of my favourite posts and images from the past year. I’m extremely lucky to get to work with Stuart Taylor, who draws fresh new art each week which brings this blog to life in ways that are not only extremely fucking sexy (here’s my favourite hot image from the year – unngh) but also cute and funny (here’s my favourite cute/funny one!). The image that illustrates this post, by the way, comes from one of the things I most enjoyed writing this year: an ode to the walk of shame. Anyway. The end of December is a good time for taking stock of what you’ve learned in the last year, for for what it’s worth here are some of my lessons from 2021.

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