This stunning ode to fishnet tights is written and read by Spen Pritchard. 

Taut twines of fabric tether to your skin and form soft square pillows, pleading to be touched, to be teased, to be kissed. Toes twitch and curl with every throb of excitement and anticipation as my eyes feast on your glorious form, caught up in the netting from the waist down.

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Today’s guest blog is something a little different, because I really want to introduce you to the fabulous person behind The Pleasure Garden – an awesome ethical sex toy shop that sponsors my website. If you’d like to buy stuff you can use the code GOTN10 for 10% off anything they stock, but I’m not trying to actively sell you anything here, I just wanted to introduce you to someone cool: Francesca Cross, who runs it. I have written about a number of fantastic Pleasure Garden products over the years, from restraints kits to g-spot vibes, and door cuffs to doppelganger dicks. And whenever I have a catch-up with Francesca to talk about what I could review next, we always end up in a fascinating sidebar about the challenges involved in trying to carve an ethical path through the adult industry: how to improve accessibility, how to make sure the toys in stock are body safe, how to write copy for websites in a way that is inclusive and never shaming. I thought you lot might like to see a glimpse behind the scenes, and meet someone awesome who is working to do exactly that. So I interviewed Francesca! Grab a cup of tea and learn about running an ethical sex toy shop in the UK…

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This deliciously hot erotic story is written and read by Tabitha Rayne. Note: in fantasy we can do things we wouldn’t in real life. Combining driving and sex is one of them. This is a dangerous activity and you should not do it . Obviously do wank about it though because this story is hot as hell.

He thinks we don’t do it enough. And by it, you know I mean sex. Bonking. Shagging. The glue that sets our relationship apart from all the other relationships in our lives. It’s true. We don’t. He might think we don’t, but I know we don’t. You know how it goes, a houseful of kids, pets, oldies, responsibilities, by the time we flop exhausted on to the sofa, barely enough energy to agree on a boxset, we’re fucked. And not in a good way.

So once every two months, I book us a very expensive room in a very expensive hotel. A different one every time. Some are sexier than others, but ALL are sexier than our own shabby messy bedroom, which is certainly not conducive to seduction in any form. How we ended up with all these damn kids is anyone’s guess.

So it’s time.

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I’ve spent far too long trying to come up with ideas to put a spin on this year’s Valentine’s Day post. I promise my lovely site sponsors I’ll do one every year, because Valentine’s Day is pretty big in the sex industry and it’s a good time to remind you of awesome products that you can buy to support my work. This year I’m struggling. Everything’s awful, isn’t it? Fascism, obviously. The latest tranche of Epstein emails. AI making it hard to know what’s real and what isn’t. Genocide. I get that this isn’t the most appropriate way to start a post about Valentine’s Day, but forgive me, it’s all I have. Everything is absolutely terrible, and it’s hard to write a jolly wrap or sexy little vignette designed to sell you sex toys in the shadow of all that.

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CN: drug use (weed). I don’t recommend drug use, and if I’m honest I’d always tell you that if you’ve never tried drugs and you don’t have a medical reason to do so, you should steer well clear. But I didn’t listen to this advice when I was young, so I enjoy drugs – often as part of sex. This is one of the things I like to do with them.

We like breath play and we also like getting high. The second part of that sentence means I definitely can’t put the audio of this post on Patreon, what with their rules about drugs being naughty and all. But it’s a good enough story that it’s worth telling anyway, because if you’re into weed and breath play too, you might enjoy this trick.

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