What’s more satisfying – making someone laugh, or making them come? Don’t think too hard, just answer the question with your first instinct. Laugh or come? Which is more satisfying? I asked this question a while ago on Mastodon and the results were extremely close. Within a few percent of each other. I found this really surprising: I’d expected it to go a very specific way, with a dramatic win for one side. I’m not even like those people who tried to nitpick the poll by saying ‘why not both?’ (because the whole point of the question is that it’s an either/or, ya bellends, really obviously we’d all go for both if that were an option). Anyway. I expected the poll to go decisively one way, because to me there’s no contest whatsoever.

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I don’t always ask guest bloggers this question, but I do usually like it if they tell me: is this story true, or a fantasy? I am happy to publish both: fantasies are often a super hot insight into the detail of people’s kinks, even if they can’t be fulfilled in real life. But I’m not ashamed to tell you that I have a penchant for the truth. I enjoy being the one who gets to hear people’s red hot fuckbrags. I like revelling in the knowledge that when someone’s writing something especially filthy, that thing actually happened to them in real life. Anyway. Today’s absolutely incredible femdom office teasing story pressed so many of my buttons, and so many of the buttons that subby men I’ve known in the past had too, that I had to ask him if it was true. You’ll probably be as horny as I was to know that the answer is ‘yes.’ Huge thanks to the lovely (and very good) anonymous writer. Enjoy.

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I always say I’m not much of a visual person, and I’m not. But every now and then an image sticks with me, and usually it’s because the bedroom in which we’re fucking has a well-placed mirror or two. I don’t have nearly enough mirrors in my bedroom at the moment – a situation I am keen to rectify as soon as my budget allows (so sometime around 2025, most likely). In the short term, though, please enjoy this trilogy of fuck stories from the past which hopefully will show you why – if you enjoy catching glimpses of you/your partners looking at your absolute fuckiest – you should have mirrors in your bedroom too.

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This gorgeous story about the fuck that might have been is written and read by Robyn of Robyn Eats Everything. 

As their laughter petered out, they glanced at their phone; it was getting late, did I want to share a cab home? I licked the back of my teeth before I answered, yes, please. Their hand found the small of my back as they guided me out the door, into the night.

Outside, the air was close but there was a shiver as they moved closer to me. The cab was only a minute away, they said, as they brushed the hair back from where it had stuck to my forehead. There was brief eye contact, their confident smile, before fingers traced down my cheek.

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I think it was a Reddit comment, that’s where the hairband trick originally came from. A guy was replying to a question along the lines of ‘what’s the hottest thing your partner does that isn’t specifically a sex thing?’ and he started waxing lyrical about hairbands. Prior to sucking him off, he explained, she did this thing where she reached for a hairband (from her pocket, her wrist, a nearby table, wherever: those of us who tie our hair up generally have a few scattered around our homes, bags and person at all times) and looked him dead in the eye as she scraped her hair back into a ponytail. It was hot, he explained, because not only did it get him pulsing towards erection via the Pavlovian effect of telling him ‘you’re about to get your dick sucked’, it also symbolised that she was taking this really seriously. Hair tied back means business. It means ‘I want to really go to town on you.’

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