Despite the best efforts of cinema and TV to convince us human beings can be smooth in seduction, most of the time we’re as ham-fisted at that as we are at everything else. Flailing around and trying to act cool when really we’ve no idea what the actual fuck we’re doing. Which is why it’s lovely to encounter someone who manages to pull off a smooth transition: from hanging out to making out, with no pissing about in the middle.

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I have a bee in my bonnet about the frequency with which sex educators used to tell us ‘condoms fit everyone!’ when we were younger. Technically yes, they are extremely stretchy. But in practice I’ve had many shags which could have been more fun for all involved if we’d had a range of condom sizes to hand – both larger and smaller than standard ones. Every dick is different, and condoms aren’t meant to be something you struggle through in order to get sex, they’re something that should (ideally) fit well enough to be safe and comfortable. This week’s guest blogger – Spit – is here to share his story, and hopefully encourage those of you with dicks to have a play and find a condom that fits you well.

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Regular readers might remember a post I wrote a while ago called ‘why you should let me borrow your boyfriend.’ It was tongue-in-cheek but so far has yielded some pretty spectacular results. Not only some awesome hot fun for me, but also some fruitful (i.e. ‘horny’) discussion with others that eventually led to this guest blog. Please welcome today’s guest blogger, Max, who is here to tell you about how his wife lent him to her best friend to fulfil her sexual needs…

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If you want me to ask for a spanking, all you need to do is text before our date and tell me exactly that. If you want me to suck your dick? Likewise. Just issue an order and I’ll drop to my knees the second it’s convenient to do so. But if what you want is to have me eating out of the palm of your hand, the most dominant thing you can do is not fuck me.

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I’m delighted, as ever, to welcome back the fabulous @EuphemiseThis to the blog. Most of you will know her for the astonishingly hot audio porn that she’s been recording recently, telling stories about some of the sexy adventures she’s had. Today, she’s here with some analysis, specifically on queer sex, and what it means to her. Our society is slowly becoming more inclusive when it comes to sex, but too often sex is seen as something that is only ‘real’ if it involves a penis going into a vagina. EuphemiseThis is here to explain that the truth is so much more varied and fun…

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