“Yes. Fuck. That’s it. That’s good. Your dick feels so fucking good in me right now. Pull out when you come, though: I want to watch your jizz squirt all over me.”

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Why don’t humans ever roar during sex? You know, just letting out a proper, full-throated, guttural roar which shakes the very walls of the bedroom you happen to be fucking in. Luckily, although humans are incapable of doing this, the latest episode of Dynasties on the BBC has the next best thing: 22 seconds of full-throated, hot-blooded tiger sex. It’s the most erotic thing I have ever seen in my life.

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He walks in, cock already hard. One hand on the waistband of his trousers. He slams the door behind him with his foot and says, simply: “D’you want to bend over and get fucked?”

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What’s that old joke? That if you sit on one of your hands until it goes numb, when you wank it feels like someone else is doing it. I’ve never tried that, but recently I discovered some pretty excellent sensations while synchronising sex to porn, which I’m going to call the Rubber Hand Illusion Of Fucking.

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I love a good ‘first’ – first kisses, first shags, first time-I-felt-in-loves, and all the other glorious moments of discovery when we find a new thing that makes our pulses race. This week, Miss Doll Reviews is here to talk about sex toys for couples – including the first time she tried out sex toys with her partner. If you’d like to read more of her sex toy reviews, visit her website at that previous link, and follow her on Twitter and Instagram. Meanwhile, enjoy her guest blog, and feel free to share your sexy toy ‘firsts’ in the comments below – it’s always nice to take a trip down memory lane and enjoy that ‘first-time’ feeling…

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