“He picked me up,” I tell her and she says “Ooh! He picked you up?!” and both of us grin because we know – we know – the pickup is a pretty sexy move. We also both know that, while I may be many things, ‘small’ is not one of them. I am not easily pick-uppable. Nevertheless, this guy picked me up and threw me onto the bed. Hot.

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People often get in touch with me to ask me to promote their books on this blog, and what I always tell them is that a sexy story will do far better at drawing people in than a simple outline of what the book will cover. Luka and Leja, sex bloggers who run Spices of Lust, have taken me very much at my word! You’ll have met them already if you’re a long time reader – they wrote a fab post about what collars mean to them in a D/s context, and now they’re here to launch their new ebook – the eBook of Kinky Sex Ideas. As I say, they absolutely ran with the ‘write a hot story’ brief, so here’s a steamy tale about the kind of sex they have, to give you a flavour of what’s in the book – it contains a selection of kinky sex ideas based off their own fun and experimentation, along with 186 illustrations, a few of which they’ve kindly included here. If you’d like to buy it you can use the code on their website for $5 off.

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Bear with me, I’m rusty as fuck. Something I could have said equally to him as to you. It’s been a long long time since I wrote up a fuckstory that was about anyone other than my ex. So bear with me, please, I know I will not get this right.

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Men: they’re fucking everywhere, aren’t they? God, I had almost forgotten they existed. I used to walk down streets past men every day and barely give them a second glance, but suddenly now I am starting to notice them. Men. Everywhere. This is a post written loosely off the back of a pep talk I gave to a friend, in which I urged her: shoot your shot. (hat tip to @Oloni for introducing me to that excellent phrase)

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There are tonnes of things to mourn at the end of a relationship. Not least, in my case, a really awesome holiday I had planned for April this year. Lockdown put paid to that, but the ferry tickets still exist, and the rescheduled dates sit in my diary taunting me: a cycling trip with fondue and fucking and fun which will now likely never come to pass. There are infinite possible worlds in which we didn’t break up, or in which we broke up in far less painful ways, where some of this stuff might have occurred. But in this world, the one that exists for me, here are a few fucks that will never happen.

Note: the third story in this trilogy involves sex-while-asleep. It’s pre-negotiated and fully consensual, but I know some people aren’t into that, so this is just here to let you skip over it if you’d like to. 

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