I’m horny and so everything I see looks like fucking. The boots that are lying jumbled in the corner of my bedroom look like a quick, bent-over fuck over an office desk. The couple snogging on the corner look like fucking. The hot guy behind the bar at the local pub with his raised eyebrow and tight t-shirt: he always looks like fucking, but even more so today. I’d normally seethe about the guys on the train playing music loudly from their tinny phone speakers, but they look like fucking right now too.

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I’m kind of obsessed with door cuffs at the moment. Simple velcro handcuffs that come attached to short metal poles, which you use by hooking them over the door. They mean you can effectively tie someone’s wrists up high while you tease them, and my partner uses them to make me beg for it.

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I don’t want to say ‘I love you’ yet again. I only say it because I’m too lazy or too tired or too wrapped up in it to give you eloquent specifics. What I want, instead of these ‘I love yous’, is to be able to describe the shape and weight of your presence in my life. I’d like you to see yourself through my eyes.

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This post is heavily BDSM-focused, and includes things like extreme pain, spanking, humiliation and some themes of consensual non-consent. If that’s not your thing please don’t read on. If that is your thing, welcome to the inside of my head…

This Christmas I want to be your gift to someone else. Tied up tight in rope instead of ribbon. Bent, spread, and sworn to silence. I want you to strap me with a belt to make me meek and compliant, prepare me so I look just how you want me to: then I want you to give me to someone else.

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This post discusses forced orgasm, which is sometimes a part of consensual non-consent play. I assure you I’d only ever want to do this to a guy who was 100% up for playing this role, but if forced orgasm is not your thing, look away now.

I want to watch a man being milked of his spunk. While he bites his lip and holds back, and screws his eyes tight shut to concentrate on something – anything – else. A guy who is being forced to come, at the same time as he’s been ordered to try not to.

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