I’m not going to tell you about the first time I shagged this guy. I might in a later post, but not right now. By way of backstory, I’ll just explain that I’ve known him online for a while, and recently we ran into each other and fucked. It was extremely fun – so fun that we did it again the next day. I’m not going to tell you about that now, though, because after we’d finished round one, as his spunk was drying on my face, he asked “are you gonna write about me?” with such eager, puppydog energy that I thought it would be fun to make him wait. However, once I’d returned home (after washing my face, naturally), I did get the urge to write this. Publishing it might seem like a bold move for a woman who may never see this guy again, but fuck it: he has a kink that I’d dearly love to flesh out in my wank bank. If you’ve ever shagged a rich person hoping for a ride in their fancy car, you might understand a little of my motivation here: I really want a go on this guy’s kink. It’s the Porsche I’ve looked longingly at but never had a chance to properly drive. Something so gutpunch-wank-bank fascinating to me that I reckon its worth potentially embarrassing myself for. So instead of writing a true account of the first time we fucked, I’m gonna tell you what I’d do if I got the chance to hang out with him again. Here are some questions I’d love to ask of the man I have only fucked twice.

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