I don’t do choking any more. Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, it turns out that something I have loved for many years is far less safe than I realised. It’s too much risk. I’m not going to order you not to do choking play, but I will tell you that this breath play article by Jay Wiseman is worth a read – it gave me useful information in a way that genuinely changed my mind. As I’ve said to a couple of dudes since I stopped being comfortable with choking: “sorry to be a buzzkill, but we’re gonna need to do something different.” I’m no medical expert, so I don’t think it’s my job to explain the detail of the risks involved with choking and asphyxiation, and I wouldn’t expect you to trust me as a source on that anyway, but here’s what I am an expert in: making shit horny! Instead of scolding you for enjoying this particular kink (I enjoyed it myself for a very long time), I’m going to share some safer alternatives to choking. Activities that – for me – capture a similar vibe to being choked or having my breath restricted, but without the underlying dangers.

(more…)

Introducing Jenby’s guest blogs makes me feel like a lowly intern announcing the arrival of the CEO: her adventures are as creative as her writing is exquisite, and I am always in awe of both. She’s the most prolific guest blogger here on the site, as well as almost certainly the kinkiest person I have ever met. Just this year she’s already told us about some fun (and romantic) sharps’ play, her first ever nyotaimori scene, and getting railed at an orgy while dressed as Marie Antoinette. I was telling a friend just this morning about Jenby’s recent hucow episode, in which she was literally milked in front of a lucky audience at a club, and my friend (herself no stranger to deliciously creative pervery) exclaimed in wonder – with wide, excited eyes – that she had just learned an awesome brand new thing. I am always honoured that Jenby brings this thrill of deviant discovery to my blog. Today she is here with another kickass story, and this one’s all about sweat. Buckets and buckets and buckets of it. Open wide.

(more…)

This week’s wonderful guest blog comes from fellow sex blogger Starcross (check out his awesome work at that link, and find him on BlueSky here!). He’s written before in response to a very direct and curious question I asked – what does it feel like to penetrate someone? – and I absolutely adored the way he managed to capture the sensation and intimacy of being inside. Today’s blog also touches on closeness and intimacy, but this time in a very public setting. He’s here to explain how doing public rope bondage with his partner, J, helped him find validation and security in kinky spaces. It’s a really beautiful perspective on something I have only ever seen from the outside before, and I am so grateful to him for sharing this with us here.

(more…)

I love receiving sexy threats – we’ve discussed this before. “If you don’t hold that position and I can’t come, I’m gonna beat you so hard.” But there’s one sexy threat that I enjoy above all others: anal as punishment.

Note: I actually don’t think this counts as ‘consensual non-consent’. I think there’s enough thirst from me as the receiver of this to move it out of any hinted ‘non-consent’ territory. However, I appreciate that the tone of it does play into a number of those tropes, so it would probably be irresponsible of me not to label it ‘CNC’ in some way – if that isn’t your thing, you might not want to read this one.

(more…)

Another incredible guest blog this week from Jenby, this time about a type of pet play that is genuinely new to me – more research into this required, because as soon as I read her post I immediately understood why this is so fucking sexy and compelling. ‘Hucow’ is a form of kinky pet play in which one person plays a dairy cow. Crucially ‘dairy’, because they are milked. Mmmmm… milked. Naturally, being able to literally produce one’s own milk is something of a bonus when it comes to becoming a hucow…

Note: contains ‘Mummy’ as an honorific. All participants are well over the age of 18. And also human, obvs. 

(more…)