Recently I wrote up some instructions on kinky DIY: how to turn your coffee table into a spanking bench. This post is the inevitable write-up of the first time we used it. It’s filthy, because this table was made for fucking, so probably best not to read it at work or in front of your grandchildren.

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In any society, there’ll be things to which you cannot legally consent. Most UK-based kinksters will be probably be aware of the Spanner case, in which a group of men were prosecuted for various crimes including assault, despite the fact that the participants had consented to the activity. It’s a really interesting discussion this, because it tackles a whole range of things that are interesting to think about including consent, power, and personal freedom. To what, exactly, are we allowed to consent?

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Meet Cara Thereon (@thereon_cara): an incredible sex blogger who I had the pleasure of hanging out with at Eroticon this year. Cara is in what some would call a ‘DD/lg’ relationship – she uses the honorific ‘Daddy’ and refers to herself as a ‘little’, and she regularly plays within this dynamic. I’m saying this up front so that those of you who might find this uncomfortable can click away now, and also so I can state really clearly up front that both of the people who feature in this piece are firmly over the age of 18. It’s a tricky play dynamic to talk about, and an intensely personal thing to describe, and I am so grateful to Cara for stopping by to give such an intimate and thoughtful look into her relationship, and why it works for her.

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When I was about twenty two, a friend of mine asked if I wanted to come to a fetish bar with her. This wouldn’t be a particularly unusual thing for someone to ask me, because I am a huge fan of both fetishes and bars. What made it odd, though, is that I’d never once had a conversation with her about kink. There were plenty of other people she knew better than she knew me, and we’d not once spoken about our own personal kinks. So how the fuck did she KNOW I was kinky?

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I was chatting to my dude recently about the least sexy kind of sex, and he mentioned ‘lie-back-and-think-of-England’ sex. You know the kind: where two people have sex out of a misplaced sense of duty, or the idea that that’s what they ‘should’ do. Thing is, though, I have an entirely filthy mind, and even this kind of sex can be extraordinarily arousing if you think of it in the right way. So he challenged me to write it: an erotic story about apparently un-erotic sex, and I had so much fun writing it that I recorded it as audio porn too…

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