Hi, sorry, excuse me, yeah sorry to bother you. It’s just I’ve been thinking quite a lot lately about all the different ways to cum at the end of a wank, and I thought/hoped you might be interested in this list. I have ranked all the possible spaff-styles in order of how hot they are for me to see/imagine. Before I begin, it’s important to note that every single one of these methods is hot: the baseline here is not ‘not hot’, the baseline is ‘let me watch you do it and my cunt will gush,’ but for what it’s worth, here they are in order.

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Sometimes I get to use my powers for good, and those are the funnest times. Today’s guest blogger (whose funny, sexy, brilliant work can be found over at her blog – Girl In Old School Trouble) got in touch with me recently to ask about e-stim. Was it good? Was it fun? Could she potentially have her first e-stim orgasm? And it happened to coincide with my lovely site sponsor ElectraStim having recently launched an entry-level stim pack – the ElectraStim KIX – plus a set of silicone finger pads that seem perfect for wanking. How did Girl In Old School Trouble get on with them? I had a hell of a lot of fun finding out…

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This glorious story about a caning experiment is written and read by Joy as it Flies. 

After I was tied up this morning, obviously my mouth and arse were used. Goes without saying. He took my photo and then had me stand with my knees bent while he caned my thighs and cunt. We had planned a science experiment wherein he would prove that I do actually enjoy being caned on the soles of my feet, by doing so and then seeing how easily he could push the dildo into my cunt – any resistance at all and he’d take me at my word.

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“I don’t really do phone sex,” I say to him, as I shuffle across the bedroom with my trousers partway down, reaching for a dildo and my Zumio. He replies “yeah, I know,” and in the background I can hear him beating away at his cock.

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I’ve been thinking about dickheads a lot lately. I mean, specifically, the head of a dick. The most sensitive, lickable part. The bit that’s most fun to run your tongue over. The part that you can kiss with spit-moistened lips. I like paying special attention, during languid suck-jobs, to all the different ways I can use my tongue on the head: flat on the underside, swirls round the ridge, firm flicks over it from side-to-side or up-and-down. Right now, I’m obsessed with the head of a dick. The way the ridge of it feels solid against the topside of my tongue when I flatten it and lick. The way I can wet it with one smooth, wet motion – running my tongue around as I playfully pretend that I’m not going to put it all the way back in my throat. The noises I can suck out of someone when I finally dip the head into my waiting mouth, and the twitching agony in his body if I keep doing that – over and over – without ever swallowing the whole of him. Sorry. This is technically meant to be a review of the new Godemiche OffBeat masturbation sheaths, but already I’m distracted. Dick does that to me.

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