This fantastic masturbation voyeur story is written by Quinn Rhodes, and originally appeared on hir website. A quick and important note from hir before we begin… “Writing this actually challenged me more than I expected it to, and it’s a little more cisnormative than I would like my filth to be. For the record, not only folks with dicks are guys, and not only men have dicks. I also realised that writing this kind of scene is very different from experiencing this sort of pervy voyeurism, so I’m open to invitations from anyone organising a cock-stroking and cocktails party.”

Your invitation gives you a time, an address, and invites you to a night of debauchery where you can ‘watch cocks being stroked while you sip cocktails’. Upon arrival, the invitation grants you admission to a narrow ballroom – or possibly a conference room – with a well-stocked bar on one side and a long two-way mirror down the other.

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This job isn’t all wanking and audio porn – sometimes it involves a lot of boring admin. But one of the nice things about it is that even on the dullest of days, when I’m buried in spreadsheets and invoices, I can receive two incredible messages barely an hour apart from men telling me how fun it is to watch their jizz bounce on the vibrating pad of a sex toy. One was via DM from the lovely CJBrook_, who (correctly) surmised I might be interested in ‘what effect the inside vibrating pad has on a load of spunk’, and the other came in this glorious review. If you’re curious about dick vibrations, and specifically the unique, thrumming intensity of the Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo Essential (keyword for Google – did you spot it?), then I hope you enjoy this delightfully fun account of my anonymous guest blogger’s first ever Pulse wank.

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How much do you care about porn video quality? Would you veto a video because it doesn’t have enough pixels? Would you skip over a cam stream because the sound was too fuzzy or avoid audio porn if the mic didn’t have a pop guard? My boyfriend gives a massive shit about the quality of particular videos which is not, in itself, a problem… until we watch porn together.

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This post has been writing itself in my head for approximately six years – ever since I got my hands on my first ever Doxy. Back then it was called a ‘Doxy Massager’ and the packaging it came in was delightfully coy, as if this toy would be used to massage anything other than one’s sexy bits. Since then it has become a bit of a sex toy sensation, and is thankfully now sold under the slogan ‘Let’s get it on’ so there is no doubt about the fact that this toy fucks. To celebrate the launch of their latest model – the first ever cordless Doxy 3 rechargeable (which is brilliant), I thought I’d finally finish the guide I’ve been writing in my head ever since I got my hands on the first one. Here’s a bunch of different ways you can wank with a Doxy.

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This spiritual masturbation erotica, by author Tabitha Rayne, originally appeared on her website, and is also available in her latest erotic collection – Drenched. It is read here by the author herself.

The serpent is here again – pixelating and twinkling in my vision. It hatches in the centre, creating a blind spot then slithers to the outer periphery, lingering in a crescent moon.

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