I hate doing this, but needs must: I’m going to review the AMO bullet vibe. I hate doing it for a few reasons, not least because I think I’m terrible at reviewing sex toys, and I work with Hot Octopuss so you’re not going to believe a word I say about the AMO bullet vibe, but for what it’s worth here goes: this is a very very good vibrator.

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Let me make myself crystal clear: I write porn so you can wank to it. I don’t expect all of you to do that, of course, but I know that some of you will, and that knowledge makes me ridiculously happy. I would be even happier if you chose to print some out and spaff all over it. Let’s talk about cum tributes…

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I love it when people tell me about unique, sexy concepts that haven’t occurred to me before: a new way to control a submissive, a new sex trick, a cool atmosphere they managed to conjure during a shag. This week’s guest blogger – @OxyFromSg who writes erotica with Phedre Sinclair at this blog right here – has exactly that: an unusual and kinky arrangement, which he’s loosely titled the ‘weird wank’. Before we start I want to let you know that he has sought permission from the guy he does this with, who’s happy for him to write about their dick-controlling antics. Enjoy!

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People often ask me for sex toy recommendations, so in this wildly boring but nevertheless helpful post, I’m going to tell you the top sex toys I’d save if my house was burning down and I only had time to grab a few. The main reason for me writing this post is because I am short of both content and cash, but I appreciate that sex toy recommendations are far less interesting than stories about having dildo orgies or watching my other half do a sexy genderfuck striptease. So here’s my offer: I will tell you about the best sex toys I own (i.e. the ones I use most often), you go buy them if you want, I’ll get some money, and then on Sunday I’ll publish some Halloween erotica story that isn’t trying to sell you anything at all. Deal? OK.

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A few years ago I went to a PR launch for a sex thing. Alongside the free champagne (woo!) there was a discussion about ‘obligation sex’ – whether you should make yourself shag sometimes even when you’re not in the mood, to keep the spark alive in your relationship. A sex blogger who I respected a lot was there (she, along with the free champagne, was what tempted me out of the house), and during the discussion she argued that you should have obligation sex. That making yourself shag could be the glue that held your relationship together even when other things were falling apart. I remember being shocked by her answer, because my gut instinct was to disagree. But I really liked her, and there’d been a lot of free champagne, so all I left with was a fuzzy head and a vague feeling that ‘obligation sex’ didn’t sound like much fun at all.

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