Tag Archives: masturbation

Can you wank for an hour without stopping?

I recently read a piece by Suzannah Weiss in Bustle in which she attempts to wank for over an hour. As a speedy and functional wanker, I thought this would be an interesting challenge to attempt. And seeing as I’d just been given a Mysteryvibe Crescendo – an almost infinitely customisable vibrator that comes with lots of different vibration patterns out of the box – I figured I had an excellent tool with which to have a go. So here goes: wanking for an hour, non-stop. Feel free to fire up your favourite porn and wank along with me.

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I will never manage to give a ‘death grip’ hand job

The other day, when I was giving my partner a lazy hand-job in the bath, I realised that although I have watched him wank countless times, I have never fully understood one thing about his masturbation technique: how hard he squeezes. In the process of getting him to show me I learned why they call it the ‘death grip.’

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Save all your spunk for me

Me: It was so fucking hot yesterday when I edged and teased you for ages. Do you have a massive load of spunk to dump inside me today?

Him: *sheepishly* I had a wank.

Me: Oh OK! No worries.

Him: Sure?

Me: Yes of course hahahaha of course totally fine no worries at all!

My brain: You’re a really terrible liar, GOTN.

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Mutual masturbation magic: mirror wanking

The phrase ‘mutual masturbation’ isn’t one of my favourites, to be honest. Something about the ‘mutual’ sounds too formal for me: it conjures images of ‘mutual societies’, and makes me feel as if I’m wanking alongside an ethical building society or the Co-op. But mutual masturbation is ridiculously fun, and I recently stumbled across a new way to do it that turned out to be hot as fuck, so I’m going to share it with you because I’m a very generous lover.

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Masturbation month guest blog: Me, myself and I

This week’s guest blogger is writing about one of my favourite things in the world: wanking. And not just any wanking – super-hot masturbation while she watches herself in the mirror. It’s the perfect piece to put up during Masturbation Month, and is so hot that it’s made me feel like I want to treat myself to a seriously awesome wank like this too. Please welcome the very talented @ZebraRoseSub!

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