The fantasies which happen in my head are consensual. The fantasies which happen in my head are often non-consensual. It sounds like a logical fallacy: how can something be both consensual and non-consensual at the same time? The answer is that, of course, the ‘non-consent’ in my fantasies is only an illusion: the participants in my head are not real, the only real person here – the only one who needs to consent – is me. But when those fantasies leak out of my head onto the page or screen, readers – real live people – become a part of what’s happening, and their consent matters as well. Let’s talk about the ethics of writing consensual non-consent fantasies.

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I do a lot of press to promote this site. Not just interviews with journalists – the word ‘press’ basically covers any and everything that I do for free to give other people content and help me promote my work: interviews, podcasts, quotes for articles, and other bits and pieces. I’m totally cool with doing this, it is the primary (and most valuable) method of promoting what I do. But with one caveat: it’s only valuable if people actually link. Understandably, many sites are reluctant to link to adult websites, so I thought I’d write a quick overview on how to do it ethically, and why it’s so important.

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Instead of resolving NOT to do something, how about making it your New Year’s resolution to do something cool? Inevitably, as a massive pervert, I reckon one of the coolest things you can do is hunt through your memory banks and come up with an idea for a guest blog – whether it’s a sexy one or something that’ll make people think, I would absolutely love to host your sex writing here in 2020. So for inspiration, here are a few of the most popular guest blogs from 2019…

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You can tell a lot about a person by what happens when you tell them ‘no.’ This is possibly one of the most useful lessons I’ve learned as a sex blogger, so I figured I’d share it with you: if you want to know someone, say no to them. 

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I hate doing this, but needs must: I’m going to review the AMO bullet vibe. I hate doing it for a few reasons, not least because I think I’m terrible at reviewing sex toys, and I work with Hot Octopuss so you’re not going to believe a word I say about the AMO bullet vibe, but for what it’s worth here goes: this is a very very good vibrator.

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