This week’s guest blogger is Christine Wild, fellow sex blogger and author – she blogs over at JustBadTiming.com and has recently published her memoir, Just Bad Timing. And I’m really pleased she got in touch because that’s one more sex blogger I can start following – check out her Twitter and Instagram. Christine’s here to tell you about a deeply hot shag in a tattoo parlour, and how writing about her sex life led to better sex… (and if you scroll to the bottom there’s a competition where you can win a copy of her book!)

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“You’re such a fucking weirdo,” he tells me, in that deeply affectionate tone which is the only one you can legitimately use when you’re calling someone a fucking weirdo. “You spend all your time either nostalgic for the past, or panicking about the future.”

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It’s just over a month until Eroticon 2018, the conference for sex bloggers, erotica writers and other erotic creative types held in Camden on 17th/18th March. Just typing that sentence makes me simultaneously excited and nervous, because Eroticon was so good to me when I was a baby blogger that I desperately want it to be as good for others as it was for me. Molly, Michael and I have been working hard at the planning, and all our amazing speakers are getting ready to give their talks/workshops. All that’s left now is to introduce ourselves, and get ready for March 2018…

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We live in anxious times, soundtracked by the constant, incessant ping of phones and laptops. Notifications are everywhere, bleeping and flashing and demanding a response. So how do we deal with it? Some people probably just switch their phones off or put them in a different room. People like me, though, write blog posts trying to explain ourselves to others in a desperate attempt to either make them forgive me or make them leave me alone. So with good and bad, selfish and silly and paranoid and everything in between, here are a few reasons I have not replied to your message.

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I bet sometimes Clark Kent wants to punch Superman. And I know this because I would happily punch Girl on the Net if she weren’t also basically me. I don’t hate her all the time, or even most of the time. But right now I hate her. And this is not the same thing as self-hate: it is richer and deeper and more intense. A purer kind of hatred, because GOTN isn’t me. She isn’t even real, so I can revel in the delicious satisfaction of hating her in the same way I can hate Voldemort.

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