It’s that time of year again! February! The bit just before the 14th when everyone’s telling you to buy sex toys. Instead of just telling you to buy stuff, I am going to share with you some horny ideas for Valentine’s Day, then tell you that if you like those ideas you’re welcome to reward me by giving me good girl points clicking the links and buying cool things from the companies which sponsor this website. There are some amazing companies on the list (porn! Audio porn! Sex toys!), and my horny ideas are all ones you and a partner (or two, or three, or four) can put into practice with (I hope) relatively little effort, and either low cost (all but one are less than £50) or completely free. Don’t say I never treat you right. And even if you’re not in the market to buy, I hope you’ll enjoy these mini porn stories anyway. I had a super horny time writing them.

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This fabulous first date hookup story is by Robyn of RobynEatsEverything, and is read here by Girl on the Net. 

The pub was closing early. The two members of staff were busying themselves behind the bar and every glance in our direction was a plea for us to leave so they could go home. You told me you didn’t want the night to end here; there’d been laughter and anticipatory touches and plenty of eye-fucking across the table as I suggestively sipped my drink through a straw. As a first date, it was perfect. We reluctantly untangled our hands from each others’ across the table and said our goodbyes to the bar.

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This gorgeous ode to dick was written by David of The Big Gay Review. It is read here by Luke. 

I love dick. No, I don’t just love dick. I am obsessed with it. My own. Other peoples. I just love dick. Which is why when I saw that the Kink of the Week prompt was all about penis; you know I had to jump on it. Literally.

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This fabulous piece about being a ‘leg man’ is written and read by JM Seaborn of WrittenInKink.com. Note that this story contains use of ‘Daddy’ as an honorific – all participants are over 18. 

Give them to me in tights and heels after a long day of work. Then, the moment you open the door, I’ll lift you off the ground, rip your underwear, bite your neck, and fuck you through the wall until you can’t even remember your boss’ name.

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You’ve got a fabulous dick, sweetheart. And I really do love taking it into my mouth and trying my best to get you to come down the back of my throat. But today I have a different request. It’s something I’ve been fixating on when I touch myself and think about you. And on the surface it won’t seem horny, but I promise you it really really is, just hear me out as I ask you… please may I not suck your cock?

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