A few days before we’re due to hang out, he texts me a fantasy. Couched in the standard consent-focused caveats (“Only if that sounds hot to you…”) that I find extremely cute – they function essentially as the ‘no worries if not!’ of fucking. His request is neat, specific, and very easy to achieve: he wants to arrive at my place, have me greet him at the door with no words whatsoever, then as soon as he’s inside, drop to my knees and start sucking his dick. No words, just cocksucking.

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If there’s a topic on which I’m likely to bond with almost anyone in the world, it’s suckjobs. Take note, lest you and I are ever stuck in a lift together and need to make smalltalk for a few hours till the fire brigade comes, opening with ‘I love giving blowjobs, how about you?’ will guarantee we fill the time without ever needing to mention how the weather’s been lately. This week’s guest blogger has this in common too – JD loves giving blowjobs, and is here to explain in delicious and sexy detail exactly what’s so hot about them. Sadly, as a bisexual AMAB person (AMAB = assigned male at birth), in order to indulge in their love of cocksucking, JD has had to put up with a hefty amount of biphobia and other fuckery from the people whose dicks they’re sucking. Here today with the perfect blend of ‘horny content’ and ‘important education on how not to be a cock when you’re getting your dick sucked’, they explain…

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A few hours before we’re due to go out, I’m pottering around the flat and these two hot people are hanging out in the living room. You’ve met these filthy fucks already – a few months ago they absolutely annihilated me in the kinkiest threesome I’ve ever been treated to. I choose that phrasing carefully: it really was a treat. Like a brutal sports massage for my masochistic subby side, performed by depraved heroes who really leant in to my request: ‘please ruin me.’

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When he tells me to be mean to his dick, I don’t think this is what he expected. But in the moment, I cannot resist. In the moment I realise that although I’m usually uncomfortable in the dominant role, there is one kind of power that I’m more than happy to wield. One way in which I am more than happy to utterly break a man.

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Whenever I ask a new person to teach me how to suck their dick, Jez from Peep Show’s voice pops up to tell me “That’s cheating! Anyone can please [someone] in bed if [they] tell you what to do! You’re not allowed to ASK, that’s the whole point!” It’s ridiculous, of course, because you absolutely are allowed to ask. In fact, sometimes asking is the only way you’ll find out exactly how this particular person likes their dick to be sucked.

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