Tag Archives: outdoors

Caught fucking on CCTV: time for these pieces to die

Are you one of those people who comments ‘why is this news?’ under every article you don’t like on the internet? Many find you irritating, but I am here to give you a task for which the world will – eventually – thank you. I’d like you to bring your rage, your keyboards, and your frustration to a specific type of article: exposés of people who get caught fucking on CCTV.

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Fucking outdoors: the opposite of getting a room

When I was young, fucking outdoors was a mundane necessity. The phrase ‘get a room‘ ironically got far more of an airing when none of us really had any rooms to ‘get’ to. So we fucked in parks. Behind bushes. Occasionally in tents or sheds. Anywhere you could reasonably slide off your clothes without risk of getting caught by your parents or the police. It didn’t seem adventurous: it was just the only option. Now, though, necessity has given way to spice. Fucking outdoors is an adventure.

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The sex-snippet bus tour of my misspent youth

“See that field?”

“Yeah.”

“I once sucked a guy off in that field.”

“OK.”

“See that bus stop?”

“*sigh*”

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