Tag Archives: relationships

Relationship maintenance: I won’t buy presents for your family

Relationship maintenance is an important skill, and I don’t want you to assume it’s ‘my’ job, just because you’ve seen other women doing it for their partners. So no, I won’t remember that you have to get up earlier than usual next Thursday for a meeting. I won’t book you in for a haircut, or ring your Mum every Sunday to let her know how you’re getting on. And I will not buy birthday presents for your family, wrap them carefully then sign your name on the accompanying card.

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Guest blog: How much sex are millennials having?

This week’s guest blogger is the fabulous Violet Grey! She tweets at @v_greyauthor, blogs about sex, and is a millennial. In light of the recent … news? speculation? kerfuffle? … about millennials and sex, she wanted to share some thoughts on why millennials may be reporting less frequent sex than previous generations, and why ultimately the amount of sex you have or don’t have is no one else’s business but your own…

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Guest blog: How to cultivate compersion

A while ago I asked people to teach me how to feel compersion. I wanted to get my head around the idea of my partner being with other people, and build on the happy/horny feelings that sometimes sparked, without triggering a whole world of jealousy and insecurity. So massive thanks to this week’s guest blogger, the fabulous non-monogamous Amy of CoffeeAndKink (@CoffeeAndKink), for submitting such a gorgeous, personal explanation of what it’s like for her, and how to cultivate compersion in relationships.

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Power, lust and agency: Is Fleabag’s priest abusive?

If you’ve been following developments, a couple of weeks ago I wrote about Fleabag’s priest and the art of longing. I wallowed a little in the horny joy of seeing two people who really want each other try desperately not to want each other. Today I’m screeching into a whole new lane, thanks to some discussion that’s come up on my Twitter feed: let’s talk about whether the priest is abusive.

The following post contains spoilers for Fleabag, so if you want to watch it check it out on BBC iPlayer before you read on. 

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“I’m jealous and insecure. Can you help me?”

“Who’s this?” I ask him, hand shaking as I hold the phone, complete with text that I definitely wish I hadn’t read. It’s the first time in my life that I realise I’m jealous. Until then I had never expected to be. He shakes his head in reply, mumbles, and tells me that he fucked her.

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