Society will not officially be over its sexual hang-ups until it no longer seems refreshing or surprising to see romcom lovers fuck doggy-style. Until a heroic character can casually suck off a stranger and not be punished for it in act three. We will know when we’re over our squeamishness about fucking when Batman (who literally kills people on screen) is allowed to give Catwoman head. Sadly, news just in: Batman can’t give head.

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Sorry to break it to you, gang, but it’s nearly Valentine’s Day. To those of you smug wankers with ideas and gifts and confidence that your love will enjoy what you’ve already planned, I say ‘piss off.’ This post is for people who only just realised that it’s nearly Valentine’s Day and feeling worried because they might be expected to do/buy something but have absolutely no ideas at all.

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This sweet sex story, by sex blogger and podcaster Sherryl Blu, originally appeared on her website.

Damp like a warm flannel
that’s how he made me feel.

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This sensual erotica is by sex blogger and podcaster Sherryl Blu.

The candle was lit…
The wick crackled and the wax melted gently
Dripping slowly down its side in long intentional streaks

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He taps 7 mana to boost a dragon hatchling, flying it over my beasts like they mean nothing. With a wry grin and a look of barely-disguised glee, he puts on a faux-sympathetic voice and tells me: “Looks like that butt plug’s going in your ass.” Sex challenge Magic is the best Magic.

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