A quick selection of bitesize erotic stories to get you going. All of these are true. If this has whet your appetite and you’d like more sexy stories head to the erotica or audio porn sections…

Him: Do you know what was good?

Me: What?

Him: Last night, when I sat on the floor under the desk and you sat on the chair in front of it naked from the waist down. When you put your feet up on the edge of the desk and then let me eat your cunt for aaaaaages.

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My favourite time to fuck is after I’ve emerged from the bath. I step out, dry off, cover my body in lotion or talc, and lie on the bed listening to the tail end of whichever podcast I put on to keep me company while I washed. When it’s nearly finished, I sext…

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This heatwave has now got so bad that even I am starting to miss cuddles. I’m normally far too into the banging to care about the post-fuck snuggles but… it’s getting to me, you know? The lack of human contact caused by the fact that I can’t successfully touch another human without either sticking to them or bursting into flames. So here are a few alternatives to cuddling in a heatwave.

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I’m a fucking sucker for a love story. Especially if that story throbs with lust as well, and pulls you in to the floaty-sexy-romantic headspace of the people who are falling for each other. Be aware that if you’re squeamish about blood or age play it might not be for you, but if you – like me – are a lustful romantic, you’ll probably adore this like I did. Please welcome LM, who’s here to tell you a BDSM love story.

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Yesterday I got a phone call, while I was in the middle of writing a Twitter thread. It was from my boyfriend, who had – in the process of trying to fix the door – accidentally locked himself in the bathroom. “Can you come upstairs and rescue me please?” he asked. Feeling like a knight in shining armour, making sacrifices for the greater cause of love, I broke off my tweeting and ran upstairs to help.

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