What do you get if you take six masturbation sheaths, two pairs of hands, a blindfold and a bottle of lube? Well, apart from ‘an excellent Saturday night’ you also get to learn some surprising new things about what makes a good stroker. Regular readers will know that I’m on a neverending quest to gather every possible piece of data on how to pleasure a dick. So naturally, strokers are one of my favourite sex toys. Having tested out a variety of them – from the Rolls-Royce pricey strokers to simpler, bargain strokers and even stroking machines I’ve customised myself – the time was ripe to inject a bit of science into the selection. Welcome to the Bargain Stroker Blind Wank Test.

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Sex toys for men: I love them, some people hate them, but every sex and relationships columnist has to have an opinion on them. And some of those opinions are bullshit. While I’ll often get very shouty about facts, very rarely would I tell someone that their opinion is bullshit, but in the case of male sex toys I am comfortable doing this. Because if you think that sex toys for men are somehow less acceptable than sex toys for anyone else, chances are you’re doing this based on either bad facts or an incomplete grasp of the benefits of sex toys. Not only are you catastrophically wrong, you’re also doing an entirely unnecessary harm.

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