This week’s guest blogger tells me – tantalisingly – that this story ‘may or may not be inspired by true events.’ I only pass this on to you so that you, like me, can tingle with a thrill of delicious envy when you read about the adventures of two people setting foot in a Bond villain mansion… and being invited to embrace their inner voyeurs as the guests took advantage of the many many bedrooms…

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Attention everyone! Doxy has released a bullet vibe! To be honest, I reckon I could end the blog post there and quite a few of you would buy a Doxy bullet purely on the basis of the fact that we’ve all heard of Doxy and we know they’re great. You would be correct to do so, because it’s excellent, but I’d be abandoning my duty of care to your genitals if I didn’t also tell you a bit about it. Namely: it’s powerful, shiny-as-fuck, and the vibration patterns appear to have a chaos mode.

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A while ago when I was struggling for blog ideas, Betty Butch suggested a round-up of the hottest posts I’ve ever written. I love this suggestion, not just because it allows me to openly engage in the kind of shameless self-promotion I’d usually have to shoehorn in subtly, but also because ‘hottest posts’ is such a subjective measure that it gives me the chance to pick from a few different types.

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Google Trends tells me that people only really began searching ‘lolly vagina’ in earnest in July 2022. Yet as long ago as 2019, we were being warned in The Metro not to put lollies in our vaginas to try and cool down. The Mirror, too, chipped in by reiterating the warnings. As did Grazia. In 2020, when most of us were busy trying not to catch the plague, the Daily Star reminded us to also remain vigilant against frostbite on our fannies. Now, as a deadly heatwave grips the UK, the links and warnings start circulating again, with new outlets chiming in to help curb what appears to be a trend of people shagging ice pops to try and stay cool in the heat. I imagine these will only increase exponentially as climate change continues to radically alter the make-up of the planet while the people in power make token gestures that aren’t even close to enough. But how useful are these warnings? Are people actually putting ice lollies in their vaginas? What are the risks? And most importantly… why can’t I fuck an ice lolly if I want to?

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This week’s guest blogger is the fabulous Valery North – a fellow sex blogger who has written beautifully here before about the way haes body’s sexual response has changed over time, as well as shared a gorgeous extract from haes book – ‘Not to choose‘. Valery got in touch recently to let me know hae’d tried out a cool and unique toy from one of my site sponsors. Having dreamt of discovering a rimming sex toy for a while, how would hae get on with this kickass little licking simulator? Read on to find out…

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