I don’t know if I’m allowed to just invent a piece of sex etiquette, like I’m the editor of NSFW Debrett’s, but if I were allowed to do that, I’d suggest an etiquette rule like this: if you’re fucking someone with a butt toy in, and you have the ability to hold it there while you pound them, you absolutely should. So for instance, if we’re fucking doggy-style, one hand laid on my butt with a steadying thumb against the base of the plug (not pushing in, just holding still) will calm my anxious mind and mean I can focus on the shag rather than the worry that I’m about to inadvertently shoot it across the room. This rule brought to you by a woman who – no matter how safe the butt plug or how secure it feels in my ass, the second you start to plough away I will immediately panic that my lubed-up arse might accidentally blast it at your stomach like a rocket launcher. My top concern with anal toys is not whether they’re going to get in, but whether they might just slip out. That was my key concern with the Hot Octopuss Plex, and why I tested it in ways that may seem silly to you, but which for me formed vital anxiety-calming prep before I (hopefully) get to use this during sex.

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I love a bit of kinky DIY – sometimes the hot things you want aren’t available in the world. Or at least not available to you – sex toys might be hard to come by or out of your budget or not quite perfect, so you find yourself cloning someone’s dick or building your own spanking bench or milking machine, just for the sheer fun of creating something sexy. When this week’s guest blogger got in touch to tell me he’d been making his own dildos, I was super excited to find out about the process. Be aware, though, that as a general rule I don’t recommend making your own sex toys unless you seriously know what you’re doing: some of the things described in this post are not entirely safe (anal toys need a flared base, and your materials need to be guaranteed non-porous before you insert them), so while I hope you can enjoy the details as much as I did, he and I are both bringing you this fun DIY adventure with a big sign stapled to the side of it that says ‘don’t try this at home.’

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There are marks on my thighs, on my arse, on my tits, and on my brain. All of those marks will fade. I could take pictures of the first three, but I’m terrible at photos, and even my very best attempts can’t hope to capture the things I really want to remember. The ache in my limbs and the sting of the flogger and the satisfaction of being held down and fucked. The all-encompassing, electric joy of getting ruined by two people at once.

This post features BDSM and impact play, some of it quite vicious. All of it extremely consensual. I don’t know how well I have written consent into this story, because I am too busy trying to capture the things that happened, but yeah… please understand that holy shit this is all consensual-as-fuck. It was more than consensual: it was a fucking gift.

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I’m a big fan of masturbation sheaths – the squishy, textured, beautiful toys that you can use to add extra sensation to a dick-focused wank. I’ve written a lot about them here in the past, including a piece about one of the very best: the Tenga Flip Hole Zero EV (crap name, brilliant toy). I’ve also had guest writers extol the virtues of Tenga here too, most notably in this piece by Luke about the standard Tenga Flip Hole. This week’s post is a lot more personal, though, and I’m really honoured that today’s anonymous guest has chosen to share his story here. If you’re interested in trying out these kinds of toys, I hope his experience can give you a nudge in the direction of prioritising your pleasure: he’s written a beautiful love letter to Tenga.

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This audio story is a bit of a special one, because it’s created by my site sponsor SofiaSins.com – their stories are inspired by real life events, and are narrated from the perspective of both people involved. This gorgeous tale of wax play and first time kinky fun is narrated from Mike’s perspective… Note that it includes kink, and brief use of ‘Daddy’ as an honorific.

Mike sat at the dinner table, wondering what was up with his girlfriend, Daniela. She seemed a little distracted, like she had something important on her mind. He didn’t think he’d done something to upset her, but he wasn’t sure.

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