We’ve all heard that old saying “Don’t have anything in your home that you don’t know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” Happily, when it comes to dildos, you don’t need to choose between practicality and prettiness: you can have both. In which case… how do you choose the best dildo to add to your collection?

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I recently read a piece by Suzannah Weiss in Bustle in which she attempts to wank for over an hour. As a speedy and functional wanker, I thought this would be an interesting challenge to attempt. And seeing as I’d just been given a Mysteryvibe Crescendo – an almost infinitely customisable vibrator that comes with lots of different vibration patterns out of the box – I figured I had an excellent tool with which to have a go. So here goes: wanking for an hour, non-stop. Feel free to fire up your favourite porn and wank along with me.

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This week’s guest blogger is writing about one of my favourite things in the world: wanking. And not just any wanking – super-hot masturbation while she watches herself in the mirror. It’s the perfect piece to put up during Masturbation Month, and is so hot that it’s made me feel like I want to treat myself to a seriously awesome wank like this too. Please welcome the very talented @ZebraRoseSub!

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In case you hadn’t seen it from literally every sex toy company you follow on social media (what do you mean you don’t follow sex toy companies on social media? Go follow some of my sponsor companies, immediately!) May is Masturbation Month. For wankers like me, that means it’s the same as any other month, only we have to write content to hit the specific keyword ‘Masturbation Month’ or we’ll get beaten in Google searches by terrible magazine articles that offer wanking tips you already knew. ANYWAY. In my quest for Masturbation Month material, I thought I’d write you a list of some of my favourite kinds of wank.

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I can barely contain my excitement today because not only do I have the amazing @JoannesReviews as a guest, she’s written a post on one of her expert subjects – fucking machines! If you’re not yet familiar with Joanne’s work, please go and check out her amazing blog where she reviews all manner of sex toys including e-stim, fucking machines and more. Today she’s sharing a sexy real-life story about topping sub ‘r’, and guiding her on her first fucking machine experience…

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