If you’re not yet up to date on Channel 4’s uncanny-valley AI drama Humans, then please note that this blog post contains spoilers up to episode 5. 

Never one to shy away from the big questions, this week I had a fairly heated debate with a gentleman about the issue of whether robot sex is cheating. I know, it doesn’t really seem relevant, right? After all, this is far-into-the-future shit that we won’t have to deal with for hundreds of years yet. How close are we really to creating a fuckable robot?

Well, depending on your definition of ‘fuckable robot’, one already exists. Sure, we’re still in the early days, but there are many cool techy pleasure toys on the market (I’m thinking fucking machines or masturbators with some kind of mechanical/buzzy element, toys designed with wifi/bluetooth apps, that kind of thing) but realistically we’re getting pretty inventive. There are toys which you can pair together over long distances (like this Kiiroo masturbator, which twins with an insertable vibrator, and aims to wank you off in time to the vibrator use). We also have fairly realistic-looking sex dolls, which – if twinned with this kind of technology – would create a passably robotic lover.

It is well exciting.

I’ve talked before about robot sex, when a bloody strange opinion poll reported that only 17% of people said they’d have sex with a robot. My answer to this question is ‘hell yes,’ especially if the robot is pretty good at sex. But what prompted the debate the other day wasn’t whether or not either of us would do it, but whether doing it would count – to either of us – as ‘cheating.’

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It seems a bit shameless to write a blog post like this, but here’s the deal: I have a couple of cool discount codes that mean you can get money off awesome sex toys, and I thought I’d give them a plug. Why? Because sex toys are fun, and my sponsors (SexToys in the UK and SheVibe in the US) give me money to help keep this blog going. If you buy stuff from them, they’ll hopefully keep giving me money, so that I can write more hot stories for you to read while you test out whatever cool things you’ve just bought.

So here goes: if you’re in the UK, use the code HEAT10 and you’ll get 10% off at SexToys. If you’re in the US (or, indeed, Canada or Australia) use the code GIRLONNET and you’ll get 10% off at SheVibe.

What if I can’t buy stuff? If you’re outside the shipping areas for either of those shops, then I’m sorry about that and I’m working on finding ways to get cool discount sex toys to you too. If you can’t afford to buy anything, then that sucks and I’m sorry, and I’m not expecting you to. If you want to support my blog without buying things I’d very much appreciate you sharing any of my posts on Facebook or Twitter, or subscribing to my feed.

Where does the money go? It goes towards keeping the blog going (hosting costs, running costs, that kind of thing), paying my fantastic illustrator Stuart, and paying the amazing guest bloggers who – I think – make this blog a gazillion times better than it’d be otherwise. The rest goes towards me, and the food, electricity, books and other things that I buy.  Any time you click on a banner ad, or post link, and buy discount sex toys, you’re helping me do all this, and I’m incredibly grateful.

This is more of a note than a blog post – I’d have done it in a better way but I’m surprisingly bad at wrangling WordPress. Normal blogging service will resume tomorrow, with something incredibly dirty and submissive that I’ve had in draft for a while. 

 

 

“I have to think of something to write about wanking.”

“Isn’t everything you write basically about wanking?”

“You don’t read my blog, do you?”

“Well, you can’t really blame me. I have to talk to you every day. Anyway, why do you have to write something about wanking?”

“Because it’s National Masturbation Month.”

“A whole month? How long does it take to have a wank?!”

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