There are lots of things I enjoy about this time of year, but gifts aren’t one of them. I feel uncomfortable if people buy them for me (please don’t go to any trouble!) and I’m terrified of giving them. Although I occasionally have a flash of inspiration, or the time and ability to arrange a cool trip or activity, most of the time I end up panic-buying a present at the last minute that’s way over my tiny budget, because I didn’t have time to shop/think/make but I need this person to know that I care about them anyway. Even the cool things I do occasionally manage come with a hefty dollop of misery as I agonise over the fact that they will still fall woefully short. It never feels possible to buy a gift that is thoughtful enough, arrange an outing that’s fun enough, or write a poem in a card that’s meaningful enough to capture the weight of my love for this kickass person. But I tell you what I can do very well: gratitude.

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This kinky free use fantasy in which you’re used all day long by your partner is written and read by JM Seaborn of WrittenInKink.com. Note that it contains the use of ‘Daddy‘ as an honorific, but everyone in this piece is a consenting adult.

You have the day off. Your Daddy does not. When his alarm sounds you nuzzle into his neck and breathe: “today is the day, Daddy.”

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This is a very silly sexy thing I wrote back in 2014, around the time I quit my day job and started sex blogging full-time. Back then, I used to have quite a few horny email exchanges like this: part ‘update my other half on my working day’ and part ‘horn for what I’ll do to him when I get home’. Something reminded me of it a few months ago, and I thought it’d be fun to throw it up as audio. Big thanks to Luke (aka @Beardynoise on Twitter) who very kindly helped me bring it to life when we were in the studio.

Mail to: John

Subject: This evening

Hey, just a quick one – I’m going to be back late tonight. Work drinks. Anything you want me to pick up on the way home?

X

p.s. Can’t stop thinking about that thing you did yesterday.

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This fantastic essay about putting things in your mouth is written and read by the sublime Robyn of RobynEatsEverything, and it originally appeared on their website. Once you’ve enjoyed the smut here (as text or audio – click ‘play’ above!), click the link at the end if you’d like to read part two…

The first time I ever sucked dick, we’d just been to McDonald’s and it tasted like strawberry milkshake. It was actually my first time in a McDonald’s too; what a day.

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If you’re familiar with the free use secretary stories that I wrote earlier this year, you’ll know what these erotic fiction pieces involve by now: a secretary who has ‘free use‘ (the ability for the boss to fuck her as and when he wants) written into her employment contract. So far in the series, my lovely free use secretary has been interviewed, fucked over a desk while her boss is on the phone to someone else, and then used as a fucktoy to impress visiting clients. In this instalment, she’s cornered in the stationery cupboard by two members of junior management, who decide they want a turn too. If you’d prefer to hear me read it into your headphones, support me on Patreon for access (but don’t worry if you can’t afford to – it’ll go up for free here eventually anyway). Note that as with all the stories in the wank tales series, they’re fantasy, not a way to behave in real life. I enjoy these scenarios in my head, because I have a kink for misogyny. But this one – like the others – involves implied non-consent/coercion, brutality, misogyny, and women being used like we’re merely holes: a fun space to play in theory, but never a way to treat people in the real world.

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