I set out to find a date within twelve hours, using only my phone. Could I summon a man to come hang out with me on the same day I set up my profile, then get him to bang me sideways in the twin room of a Travelodge? If so, this would make for the most efficient dating experience of my entire life to date. How successful was I? Come find out!

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I often get asked if writing turns me on, or how often/whether I wank when I’m composing something. The answer is ‘sometimes’ – honestly, most of the time, if it’s a story I’m retelling that involves an especially hot real-life fuck or a fantasy I’ve nurtured for a while. But this week’s guest blogger has a far more vivid and delicious answer to that question. Please welcome RalpH_himself (who you can find here on Mastodon or Fetlife) who’s here to show you what the sweet agony of writing erotica is like…

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Normally I wait until just before New Year’s Day to write a round-up of the year’s top free audio porn, guest blogs and other delights. But this year I wanted to get it live early, to give you something to dip into during this period of otherwise-relatively-wholesome festivity. So! Welcome! Take a seat, grab a glass of mulled wine/eggnog/hot chocolate, and enjoy this showcase of some of the top audio porn, smutty blogs, and other fun treats from this year! Join me in celebrating the astonishingly talented cast of writers, readers and guests who bring such utter beauty to the site…

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This fabulously hot story about kink, ownership, longing and a shirt is written and read by the brilliant JM Seaborn of WrittenInKink. Note that it contains ‘Daddy’ as an honorific, all participants are over 18. 

She doesn’t have to be up yet. She’s still in bed. One leg hanging invitingly outside of the blanket. I have to ignore it because I’m late for work and there is no time to climb back into bed and add to the bruises I gave her last night.

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When I first requested a cute little butt plug starter kit from my site sponsor WhippleTickle (seamless promo, well done me) I had a plan in mind: I knew exactly who I’d use it with, and how. But for reasons I’ll explain later, that won’t happen now. So I basically have two options if I want to fulfill my promise to one of the kind companies that helps keep the lights on here at GOTN HQ. I could write you a straight-up review where I give this product marks out of ten based on basic details or… write two thousand words of horny butt plug porn then chuck a link and discount at the end for you to click when you’re all done wanking. And… you know… have you met me?

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