Tag Archives: the only way my job gets any better is if Paul Rudd gets into porn and wants to do a hands-on interview with me about the challenges of moving to the adult industry

Roses are over: this Valentine’s, we’re upgrading to chocolate dick

Sometimes the stars align into a constellation that literally spells out “I HAVE THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD, GODDAMMIT”, and so it was on the 20th January this year, when I got a little message from a shipping company telling me my package from Intimate Chocolate had arrived. My package of a gigantic, delicious, beautiful hazlenut-and-chocolate dick. I am supposed to ‘review’ this for the website, but you lot know me by now and so what I’m actually going to do is wax lyrical about how fucking awesome this whole situation is, then tell you how I got overexcited and suggested to a mate who was visiting that we should competitively deep-throat it.

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