Note: this post contains minor spoilers for the filthy scenes in Saltburn. Which I (obviously) loved. 

I’m not going to do it.

Damn right you’re not going to do it. 

Even though… there isn’t really any harm in doing it?

Don’t you dare do it.

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As regular readers will know, I’m not a fan of writing sex toy reviews like I’m Which? Wank magazine. I prefer to just use them in fun ways and then tell you a sexy story or how they made me feel. Lately I’ve been struggling a bit to come up with new ways to show off the cool products that my sponsors send me, so I offered the latest kickass creation to my top kinky guest blogger instead. And holy fuck am I glad I did! Behold: Jenby Doll sets her creatively filthy mind to road-testing the Vibe Pad, a brand new sex toy from my sponsors Godemiche. In the process showing off just how beautifully this kind of toy can be used in power-play scenarios. Huge thanks to both Jenby and Star for their incredible work on this super hot post!

Note: this piece contains age play and use of ‘Mummy’ as an honorific but all participants are well over the age of 18. Also features latex, gags, restraints, collars, degradation and dollification.

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I found today’s guest blog so moving and intense that it’s quite hard to write an introduction. When Aborigen (@[email protected] on Masto) got in touch to offer a post about macrophilia/size fantasy, and plug his podcast zHeitgeist, I was excited to read about a kink I don’t share and hoping I could gain an insight into the way that facesitting is of particular appeal to macrophiles who want to feel small, vulnerable, crushed. I wasn’t quite expecting him to make such a beautiful case for acceptance and understanding of all consensual kinks. On top of this, he gives a truly exquisite example of why being vulnerable with your lovers, and accepting their vulnerabilities too, can be powerfully rewarding. I want to go back in time and share this with my past self, and any number of past lovers too. It’s longer than guest blogs usually are, so grab a cuppa before you dive in. It’s worth it.

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I follow a number of sex educators, researchers and journalists who are sceptical about the idea of ‘sex addiction’ – where an activity is so wrapped in societal shame, it’s hard to separate out what might be a ‘problem’ for an individual with what constitutes simply a ‘problem’ for a conservative society. As a result, I’ve always been hugely wary of anyone trying to tell me (or people I know) that we might be sex ‘addicts’ as opposed to just ‘fans of fucking.’ But as yet I’ve never had anyone write about sex addiction for the guest blog, so I was delighted when Big Ed Magusson pitched me a post about exactly this. He’s here to share his own journey exploring addiction and libido. If you would like to read more, his collection of short stories – Addictive Desires – is available on Amazon and Gumroad. And do check out his website as well if you’d like to read more of his work.

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Instead of doing some boring-as-fuck intro where I tell you how hard it’s been to choose my top smut from 2023, this year I’m going to open with a thank you. Thank you to every single one of you lovely pervs for reading, listening, sharing and commenting over the last 12 months. This year has been hard, and as a result I’ve published less than I usually would, but for some reason shitloads of you have still come to this cum-covered corner of the internet to join in and beat one out. Over 1.7 million of you (WHAT THE FUCK) came in 2023, giving over 6.6 million pageviews (WHAT THE DOUBLE FUCK). And although this would usually translate into piles of sweet sweet cash, because I’m an adult site I can’t make money the way a normal website would, with Google ads and whatnot. So through trembling sobs of truly heartfelt gratitude I want to say thank you to my incredible sponsors (Bloom Stories, Doxy, Dreams of Spanking, ElectraStim, FrolicMe, Godemiche, Hot Octopuss, Literotica, Meo, The Pleasure Garden, Sex Tech Guide and Whipple Tickle), without whom half of this would be impossible, as well as to my extraordinary team of generous Patreons, who provide the support that holds up the other half. Thank you, too, to the hot, incredible, incredibly hot people who have been kind enough to let me share our adventures here on site. This year that’s mostly been Hot Punk Guy [HEART EYES EMOJI], but special thanks also to Shop Man who restored my faith in dating, Maelstrom of Fuck couple who helped me achieve a fun bucket list thing (which I’ll write up for the blog later) and my lovely comet who showed me a great time exactly when I needed it.

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