There are lots of things I enjoy about this time of year, but gifts aren’t one of them. I feel uncomfortable if people buy them for me (please don’t go to any trouble!) and I’m terrified of giving them. Although I occasionally have a flash of inspiration, or the time and ability to arrange a cool trip or activity, most of the time I end up panic-buying a present at the last minute that’s way over my tiny budget, because I didn’t have time to shop/think/make but I need this person to know that I care about them anyway. Even the cool things I do occasionally manage come with a hefty dollop of misery as I agonise over the fact that they will still fall woefully short. It never feels possible to buy a gift that is thoughtful enough, arrange an outing that’s fun enough, or write a poem in a card that’s meaningful enough to capture the weight of my love for this kickass person. But I tell you what I can do very well: gratitude.

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Remember a few weeks ago when Starcross wrote a fabulous guest piece about what it feels like to have someone come round your cock? Hot, right? And for those of us without cocks, a delicious insight into what it’s like to possess one. Honestly, inject this into my veins. At the same time as Starcross responded to my callout, the lovely Innocent Loverboy got in touch to answer my question about what it feels like to penetrate someone. And to have someone slowly sit on your dick. Can you tell I’m obsessed with these things at the moment? I just really want to know what sex is like from the perspective of someone with a dick. And asking sex bloggers feels like an excellent way to find out. Please give a warm welcome to ILB (that’s the Mastodon link – he’s also here on Twitter and here on BlueSky), who’s dropped by to give us his perspective on what it feels like to penetrate someone…

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Today’s guest blog was dictated by Bev (who is in her 70s) to her son (in his 40s), and I’ve tried to only very lightly edit the story as she told it to him. As you all know, I am constantly thirsty for guest blogs from older people about the sex they have and want, because we don’t get to see nearly enough of their stories in popular culture. If you took the lead from films and TV, you could be tricked into thinking that there’s an expiry date on sexual pleasure. You and I know that is not the case, and that it’s important (not to mention horny) to read and share experiences from people who don’t often get sexual representation in mainstream TV and film. To this end, please give a really warm welcome to Bev, and join me in sending her tonnes of love and best wishes for a speedy recovery so she can enjoy her post-chemo hook-up…

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A month or so ago, I abused my power made great use of my platform to post a shout-out on Mastodon for a guest blog that could satisfy one of my long-term curiosities. I wanted to know: what does it feel like to have someone come on your cock? I am, perhaps obviously, fascinated and intrigued by all the different feelings that people with dicks get to experience that I do not, and I figured one of the lovely articulate sex-nerd perverts who followed me might be up for explaining this in detail. And one was! Not just anyone, either: the lovely Starcross, who runs his own blog at Starcross Stories (some of which are available as audio porn too!). His post is so perfect – exactly what I was looking for – that I read it three times before I even started uploading it here to the site. Please enjoy this fabulous explanation of what it feels like to have someone with a vagina come round your cock…

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What’s more satisfying – making someone laugh, or making them come? Don’t think too hard, just answer the question with your first instinct. Laugh or come? Which is more satisfying? I asked this question a while ago on Mastodon and the results were extremely close. Within a few percent of each other. I found this really surprising: I’d expected it to go a very specific way, with a dramatic win for one side. I’m not even like those people who tried to nitpick the poll by saying ‘why not both?’ (because the whole point of the question is that it’s an either/or, ya bellends, really obviously we’d all go for both if that were an option). Anyway. I expected the poll to go decisively one way, because to me there’s no contest whatsoever.

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