I’ve written quite a lot about anxiety here on the blog, but I don’t think I’ve ever written anything as beautiful as this guest blog on performance anxiety. The way he captures the minutiae of life intruding on sexual pleasure, then zooms out to place those in the context of larger existential panics – it properly punched me in the heart. If you’re thinking of pitching me a guest blog but you’re nervous, please read this and see that you don’t always have to focus on one specific story, or give a super-comprehensive and detailed piece of advice: sometimes the best sex writing is about capturing a feeling, articulating it beautifully, and then sharing it to help other people feel a little less alone.

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It’s odd that I’ve never written directly about the orgasm gap, let’s rectify that shall we! Here is a conversation that I’ve had more than once:

Me: I don’t like getting head.

Guy: Oh, but you’ve never had it from me!

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The first time I kissed a boy was in Geography class at school. We’d been swimming together with friends the weekend before, and he and I had flirted in the way that 13-year-olds do: by splashing each other and then rapidly swimming away, whispering to friends that we fancied each other and hoping those friends would understand their role as ‘messenger.’ I assume this is how most first kisses happen: friends are pivotal in their creation.

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Sluts, eh? We’re incorrigible. No sooner do we read about someone holding their spunk in for 30 days in order to deliver an epic cum shot than we’re persuading people in our own lives to try abstinence so we can experience an epic load of our own. That’s what happened in this week’s guest blog, as the frankly heroic @girlinjail – after reading about how my toyboy gallantly partook in No Nut November and then painted my insides with jizz – persuaded the husband in a couple she’s fucking to try abstaining from orgasm so that she could experience an entire month’s worth of cum. You’ve met this couple – Mike and Elly – before, when Girl in Jail persuaded them to try jump-humping (another heroic endeavour which resulted in that rocket-fuel hot guest blog). And you’ve also read some of GJ’s other adventures too, when she tried out the Electrastim KIX. Now you get to join me in falling at her feet to worship her newest and sexiest guest post: the culmination of Mike’s abstinence, as Elly watches Girl in Jail get covered in a month’s worth of cum. Truly, honestly: we are not fucking worthy.

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It’s pitch black in my bedroom. Weirdly, so much darker than it usually is. Perhaps a streetlight is out, or maybe I’ve finally managed the perfect seal on my blackout curtains, so not a sliver of London night sneaks through. Either way, it’s dark. He’s lying naked next to me, big hands sliding smoothly down my body, soft lips on mine, cock growing hard in my hand. And although I’m going to try and tell you parts of this story in the sexy/atmospheric way in which I’ve begun this post, you’ll have to excuse me if the odd burst of glee breaks through, because on this special night I managed something truly remarkable for me: I gave a guy a hand job to orgasm!

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