I’ve got a bunch of Godemiche wand heads that I’ve been meaning to write about for a while. Don’t ask me how long, it’s genuinely embarrassing how much time it has taken me to write up this not-a-review. I’ve had a pack of colourful heads sitting on my bedroom floor just itching to be opened and used, but because I had a selection of different types and textures, I wanted to have a go at using all of them a few times so I could work out how best to describe what exactly they do. It’s complicated, fun, and requires a little (OK, a lot) of explanation about different types of clitoral stimulation.

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Ride of the Valkyries makes it in, obviously, as does Night On Bare Mountain, but Oh Fortuna is far too funny and Pachelbel’s Canon too soft. We’re sitting on the sofa skimming through a Spotify list of ‘Top 100 Classical Music Bangers’ and, of course, selecting which ones we will fuck to.

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I would love for everyone to have the opportunity – at some point in their life, or ideally at multiple points in their life – to really nerd out about sex. Explore all their questions about sensation with someone who has questions of their own. When Jenny S pitched me her story about asexual exploration as a guest blog, I was so excited to read about her doing exactly this – nerding out and zooming in on lots of different sexual curiosities. I hope you enjoy this gorgeous guest blog as much as I did, and maybe see it as a jumping off point for some curious exploration of your own…

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This fabulous casual sex story about getting savagely fucked by a reply guy is written by Charlotte Bayes, read by Sherryl Blu. Note that it contains some consensual choking. 

I do not wish to be perceived as desperate, but after a catalogue of bad experiences both on and off The Apps, I really didn’t know what else to do but to debase myself on Twitter dot com. Asking for a date at the very least on the ‘hell site’ might be able to at least bring some more like-minded people together as opposed to random swipes and hours wasted talking to seemingly normal men. Or men who seem normal at first then turn out to use curtains instead of bedroom doors in their houseshare. They made it very clear I had to try something else.

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Sometimes I write posts to turn you on, and sometimes I write them so I can hop up on my soapbox and have a rant. In fact, I’m due to write a nice in-depth rant about fantasies off the back of the last two horny posts – a woman having a wank part 1 and part 2. But today I’m feeling soft and chill, and I don’t feel like getting into complex stuff. Today I am just writing because there’s a fun story I’ve been meaning to share for a while, and I love wallowing in nostalgia – especially nostalgia about times when I was blissfully happy and loved-up. I think the following is such a great date idea that other people might want to steal it and try it for themselves. This is the coolest date I went on with my Hot Punk Guy, and with some slight adaptations to personalise the schedule, it could be the best date you go on as well.

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