This fabulous adventure with the Sex Scientist featuring a pink pussy pump is written by EL Byrne of Lustitude, and originally appeared on her website. It is read here by Girl on the Net. 

“If you order more stuff, look for some pussy pumping device,” his text read.

“You want me to order one if I find?” I typed, my mind already whirling with possibilities.

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Despite the best efforts of cinema and TV to convince us human beings can be smooth in seduction, most of the time we’re as ham-fisted at that as we are at everything else. Flailing around and trying to act cool when really we’ve no idea what the actual fuck we’re doing. Which is why it’s lovely to encounter someone who manages to pull off a smooth transition: from hanging out to making out, with no pissing about in the middle.

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Back in August last year, I wrote a post called ‘love is an addiction’. In that blog, which I typed up as a distraction to help me hold off the urgent, all-encompassing desire to text my ex-boyfriend, I said this…

“It feels like trying to quit smoking – an exercise as vital as it is futile, at which I have failed every single time I’ve tried. But I still haven’t sent that text so now I wonder if the wasted, flabby muscle that might once have been my willpower is growing with each passing day. Perhaps every text I compose and do not send builds that muscle up – flexes it, makes it stronger. Maybe if I can make it through the next six months, I can make that muscle strong enough that it’ll haul me through to the end of my smoking addiction. Wouldn’t that be a thing?”

Well, here’s a thing: I quit smoking.

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Regular readers might remember a post I wrote a while ago called ‘why you should let me borrow your boyfriend.’ It was tongue-in-cheek but so far has yielded some pretty spectacular results. Not only some awesome hot fun for me, but also some fruitful (i.e. ‘horny’) discussion with others that eventually led to this guest blog. Please welcome today’s guest blogger, Max, who is here to tell you about how his wife lent him to her best friend to fulfil her sexual needs…

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This gorgeous true sex story is written by E L Byrne of Lustitude, and is read aloud here by Sherryl Blu. 

I can hardly explain how it had been almost two years since we had seen each other. Two years since our flesh has touched, since I’ve heard his crazy laugh in person, since his lips touched mine, since we did incredibly delicious erotic things to one another. I mean the whole world knows why, but it just didn’t compute in my head. Then I saw him. (Insert big sigh here) What a wonderful feeling after all this unintended time away, neither our dynamic, our companionship, nor our attraction had waned. It was as strong as ever, and I can admit to feeling a total resurgence of my crush on him. Enjoying all the little “oooh” moments again. It’s been lovely.

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