It’s hard to adequately convey how massive a move it is for Pornhub to remove all unverified uploads from its platform. The site – like many ‘free’ tube sites like YouPorn and Xhamster – has relied on unverified user uploads for so long that to suddenly remove them is a massive step. What does it mean? Should you be worried? And are there legitimate criticisms of the way this has happened?

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This is not a Christmas gift guide, because in my family we’re not doing gifts this year – we’re doing ‘hugging those we can and vid calling those we can’t and making plans for a big fuckoff party once we’ve all received our vaccines’. I checked my calendar this morning and was unsurprised to discover that 2020 has lasted at least ten years so far. And while it’s glorious that we’re now hurtling rapidly towards the end of it, with joyful vaccine news on the horizon, I don’t think any shiny presents will be sparkly enough to brighten what’s been such an objectively devastating time. So this is not a Christmas gift guide.

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Have you ever wanted to suck your own cock? As a connoisseur of cocksucking, I am inevitably fascinated (and delighted) by stories of people who have managed to suck their own. So when @OxyFromSg (who writes erotica over at this blog) popped up in my DMs to say ‘hey! I’ve sucked my own cock. Fancy a guest blog?’, you can imagine how eagerly I leapt at the opportunity to read/publish something that explains not only how to suck your own dick, but what it actually feels like to achieve it. Take it away Oxy…

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I’m not a fan of No Nut November (the month-long challenge where people try not to wank for reasons that vary from ‘fine’ to ‘oh God please stop spewing falsehoods about wanking harming your brain’). I like wanking and I dislike people who try to make others feel ashamed or broken because they enjoy a hand shandy. However, there is one huge benefit to the end of No Nut November that I haven’t yet dwelled upon for fear I’ll end up trapped in a horn spiral for the whole of lockdown. Namely: how much fucking jizz there’ll be when everyone who is partaking in it joins a massive beat-one-out party at 12:01 on December 1st.

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It’s really fucking shit, let’s start with that. Lockdown continues/escalates across the UK, to varying degrees of clusterfuck depending on where you are. One thing is certain: at some point you’ll be trapped at home, bored and miserable and longing for the Before Times. To try and ease the misery, and plug the awesome companies who support my site, here’s a quick rundown of some sexy things to keep you entertained through the oncoming horror show.

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