Hey! I realised recently that I have something in common with my site sponsors Hot Octopuss (and it’s not just that we really love sex toys). Turns out it’s been ten years since they launched the kickass vibrating dick toy PULSE, and coincidentally it’s also been about ten years since I quit my day job and started blogging full-time. I wish I could say I’ve had the same success they have, selling millions of toys and creating oceans of spaff, but to be honest I haven’t sold that many toys. I reckon spaff-wise I could fill a modest pond or two, though. Maybe the Serpentine, at a push. To celebrate their ten years, they launched a really beautiful limited-edition version of their most popular sex toy – Hot Octopuss PULSE Dragon Eye – and I thought I’d take the opportunity to shout about some of the hottest adventures I’ve had with mine…

(more…)

Note: this post contains minor spoilers for the filthy scenes in Saltburn. Which I (obviously) loved. 

I’m not going to do it.

Damn right you’re not going to do it. 

Even though… there isn’t really any harm in doing it?

Don’t you dare do it.

(more…)

There are lots of things I enjoy about this time of year, but gifts aren’t one of them. I feel uncomfortable if people buy them for me (please don’t go to any trouble!) and I’m terrified of giving them. Although I occasionally have a flash of inspiration, or the time and ability to arrange a cool trip or activity, most of the time I end up panic-buying a present at the last minute that’s way over my tiny budget, because I didn’t have time to shop/think/make but I need this person to know that I care about them anyway. Even the cool things I do occasionally manage come with a hefty dollop of misery as I agonise over the fact that they will still fall woefully short. It never feels possible to buy a gift that is thoughtful enough, arrange an outing that’s fun enough, or write a poem in a card that’s meaningful enough to capture the weight of my love for this kickass person. But I tell you what I can do very well: gratitude.

(more…)

Hooray for science! This week’s fantastic guest blog, by Jocket, has exactly the kind of wanking detail that a sex nerd like me gets ridiculously excited about. Not only has he tried out a bunch of different masturbation sheaths (across a range of brands), but he’s done a deep-dive into one of the best sleeves (made by my site sponsor Godemiche) and ranked every possible textured iteration of their OffBeat toy based on what feels best on his dick. WHAT A HERO. Take it away Jocket…

(more…)

This gorgeous Zoom orgasm story is written and read by The Barefoot Sub, and originally appeared on her website.

An unanswered email flashed up with a “follow up?” prompt. Hanging my head in shame I clicked “dismiss”. The email request seemed simple enough in theory, but the fact remained that I didn’t have permission to ask for a meet. Not only were the lockdown restrictions firmly in place nationwide, but in the summer Sir had agreed to me having a play date, and I had failed to follow through with my promise of sexy shenanigans when the chemistry had been missing and I’d changed my mind. Now I was to wait. Wait to be instructed to find someone to fuck me.

(more…)