Have you watched Netflix’s How To Build A Sex Room? Episode one is not indicative of the show overall, so if you’ve only watched the first it might be worth sticking with it. When I first settled down to watch it, I was deeply frustrated by its giggly, sex-is-a joke attitude. Not to mention the fact that they didn’t do what they’d promised us in the title they would: show us How To Build A Sex Room. The programme was lacking in all the details a horny amateur DIY enthusiast would need, such as how to determine which fixings to use for mount points (they call them ‘hard points’ which I think is less sexy) and which fabrics give the best attractive-yet-wipe-clean finish. BUT. I stuck with it, because I like watching people talk about kink equipment, and now I’m here to tell you all that How To Build A Sex Room is actually fucking GREAT.

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One of the things that blogging is good for, I think, is showing people a far broader range of stories and journeys than you’d get if you relied solely on mainstream media for your messaging around sex. People with lived experience can join discussions to give you tips based on what has worked for them. Recently I wrote about the film Good Luck to You, Leo Grande, and the powerful message it gave about sexuality – you are never too late to start exploring and enjoying your body. In response to my piece, the fabulous @BibulousOne (who writes beautifully here – Pain As Pleasure) got in touch offering to share his thoughts as an older man who began his own sexual adventures later in life, and I’m so grateful to him for being willing to share what led him to start exploring kink in his fifties, as well as a few useful lessons for the rest of us no matter what our age…

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The vast majority of my own wank fantasies feature someone getting bent over something. The arm of a sofa, a spanking bench and – of course – bent over the desk. The desk is one of the sexiest bits of furniture, in my opinion, far hotter than a bed or a sofa. Rendered even hotter if that desk happens to be one in your office, where workplace fucking is technically forbidden. If you feel the same, you’ll absolutely love the latest post from @ht_honey (whose blog you can find at Happy Come Lucky, plus read her fabulous guest blogs on sub drop and giggling in kink here!), where she tells us in delicious detail about a hot office fuck bent over the desk…

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Yesterday I asked Twitter to give me a hand with blog topics – I have a few drafts but none are quite ready, and I was in a bit of a funk and feeling meh about writing in general. Not only did they come through in a powerfully brilliant way, with tonnes of questions that I may well tackle later, but one question in particular leapt out at me and begged for a longform answer. So with apologies to those of you who asked ones I have not answered (I’ll try, I promise), today I’m going to have a crack at this one from Quinn Rhodes: where does foreplay end and sex begin?

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Sex is rarely ever predictable, especially with a new partner. Although we’re taught that there are certain ‘scripts’ that we should follow when it comes to sex, there are many different factors that make those scripts useless or sometimes even harmful. The individual quirks of our own bodies are definitely key factors here! So I’m excited to welcome Anna (@AnnaDdottir) to the guest blog slot today, with a fabulous and funny piece on the ‘what the fuck’ moments that her disabled body sometimes throws into the mix. Enjoy the guest blog, and check out Anna’s blog here!

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