This fabulous adventure with the Sex Scientist featuring a pink pussy pump is written by EL Byrne of Lustitude, and originally appeared on her website. It is read here by Girl on the Net. 

“If you order more stuff, look for some pussy pumping device,” his text read.

“You want me to order one if I find?” I typed, my mind already whirling with possibilities.

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For reasons that I will explain in a later blog post or (more likely) never explain at all, these days when men come to visit overnight I ask them to sleep in the spare room. It’s nothing personal. No man is allowed to share my bed. The up side of this is that I get a decent night’s sleep which means I am capable of having fun the next day. The down side is that sometimes I find myself lying awake and horny at 5 in the morning, fantasising about the tempting cock attached to the guy in the bedroom next door, lamenting the fact that I have no one to rub my bum against till they get hard and wake up to shag me. Usually I’m an advocate of the motto ‘it can’t hurt to ask!’ but I’m working on the assumption that 5am is a hard limit for almost everyone, so I do not venture to the spare room on a dick hunt. I just pop on a blindfold to shield my eyes from the dawn and debate whether it’s too early in the day to have a wank.

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If you want me to ask for a spanking, all you need to do is text before our date and tell me exactly that. If you want me to suck your dick? Likewise. Just issue an order and I’ll drop to my knees the second it’s convenient to do so. But if what you want is to have me eating out of the palm of your hand, the most dominant thing you can do is not fuck me.

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Did you know this week is Autism Awareness Week? And tomorrow (2nd April) is World Autism Awareness Day. To mark it, @HowlieT has dropped by with a kickass, funny, informative guest blog about sex on the autism spectrum. So whether you are on the spectrum yourself, or you’re shagging someone who is, she has some top tips on things you might want to think about to make sure your banging equals a banging time for both of you.

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I’m delighted, as ever, to welcome back the fabulous @EuphemiseThis to the blog. Most of you will know her for the astonishingly hot audio porn that she’s been recording recently, telling stories about some of the sexy adventures she’s had. Today, she’s here with some analysis, specifically on queer sex, and what it means to her. Our society is slowly becoming more inclusive when it comes to sex, but too often sex is seen as something that is only ‘real’ if it involves a penis going into a vagina. EuphemiseThis is here to explain that the truth is so much more varied and fun…

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