I could show you how to fuck me till I come, if you really want me to. You don’t need to perform or practice or keep an eye out for the sexy faces I make, reading them like I’m an ancient text you need to try and decipher. If you want to fuck me till I come, I can show you. (more…)

I’ve written about the Zumio before, and it’s rare that I cover a sex toy more than once (unless it’s a sex machine or is made by Doxy or is something I’ve lovingly customised like the Fleshlight Launch… oh OK I guess I do cover lots of sex toys more than once) but this is one of the best sex toys I have ever owned, and it just came down in price – from $140 to $98, and I have three stories about the lengths I will go to if I am deprived of Zumio action which I’ve been itching to publish for a while. It’s a fun, fuckable, now slightly-more-affordable sex toy, and I am powerfully in lust with it, so let’s get stuck in: three reasons why you should buy a Zumio.

(more…)

In which I try to write about the newest sex toy in my collection – the Zumio – without having to run back to my bedroom for another quick go on it just to ‘check’ it’s as cool as I think it is.

(more…)