Here are a couple of dates when I’m free – sorry for being such a forward-planning diary twat it’s just that I’m very busy and I’d really like to see you so it’s better if we book it a long way in advance. Let me know if either of these works for you. No worries if not!
I’m just sending these stats over while I remember – number of clicks as tracked from my side, and a couple of ideas for new ad creative if you’d like to refresh yours. Do let me know your thoughts when you get the chance. Would you like to renew your ads? No worries if not!
I’m actually booked up for a really long time now, but that sounds amazing! What I’ll do is hold this weekend for you, and you can check in and get back to me when you know. No worries if not though.
Do you fancy coming to Diggerland with me? I’ve always wanted to go to Diggerland. No worries if not.
There’s this kickass fucktoy a sponsor gave me and I think it might be up your street. I’d love to try it out with you if you’re game for a testing fuck next time we hang out. Obviously no worries if not though.
Do you like me? No worries if not.
There’s this awesome place I really want to see, and I thought maybe we could head there when we hang out? It’s not far from you, probably just a walk, and it’s been on my list to visit for ages. It might suck, obviously, as I’ve not been there before so it’s a bit of a gamble. Fancy taking a punt on it? No worries if not!
Is this thing we have right here… what is it? Cos it kind of feels like a relationship to me and although I’m not after monogamy or commitment I think I would like to be able to put a label of some kind on what we’re doing, just so I have a vague idea where I stand. I think those discussions are important to me and without them I feel a little at sea. Are you up for having that kind of chat? Probably a bit too much pressure for me to put on you though, so no worries if not.
There’s an epic gig on next week! How about we go together? Super bouncy, should be fun, a couple of my mates will be there and they’d love to meet you. It might not be your cup of tea though, so honestly no worries if not.
I’m ninety per cent sure that the other person you’re shagging outranks me, and obviously that’s OK I don’t ever need to be best, I’m just delighted to be here hahaha. But I feel like I get downranked every time we hang out and that puts me in a very weird place. Could you give me an indication of just how far I’m outranked and maybe stick to it so I at least know where my place might be? Probably rude of me to ask this, and so needy! God, sorry, I know I’m extremely annoying. As I say – no worries if not.
The other day when you told me you loved me, I wasn’t sure if you meant it or if that was just jokes. Were you serious? No worries if not.
You’ve gone a bit quiet lately and I’m worried about you. It’s hard to work out if it’s OK to be worried about you, or if I’m overstepping and being nosy if I ask too much about your life. Anyway I just wanted to ask about your life – are you up for telling me? No worries if not.
Am I important? No worries if not.
Do you like me? No worries if not.
Did you smile when you got a message and saw it was from me? No worries if not.
Sometimes I worry that everything I do is somehow annoying and/or a burden. Like my wanting to spend time with you effectively means me applying pressure – controlling and nagging and manipulating you into hanging out with me and having fun. This isn’t your problem – it’s mine. But still. I think sometimes I need a little reassurance that I’m not putting pressure on you to spend time with me. I need to know that you’re here not just because I’m a convenient hole to fuck/person to watch TV with/sex blogger who’ll suck your cock without asking anything in return, but because you actually like me. And I mean like me not just like a woman who happens to be available. So I guess what I’m asking here is… am I a genuine addition to your life? Are excited for me to be in it? Do you want me?
No worries if not!
9 Comments
Ouch, too real.
I know that this post likely is not current, but it sure feels as though you’ve been rooting through my head and pulling the messy bits out, recently.
If this is not current, can I ask how (if?) you got out of this cycle?
Ahhh well, escaping this cycle is partly why I’m single now (and v happy being so, although quite frustrated that I don’t have people to play with/banter with/fuck like I did back then!). A couple of the relationships mentioned briefly here ended for other reasons, and I looked at the other two I was in (the ‘outranked’ one and the one where the guy didn’t want to put a label on anything) and I went to both dudes directly directly and said ‘OK, here’s what I need’ [to know where I stand and for that not to keep changing at the last minute/to understand how you feel] and then saw what happened.
If either of them had stepped up and done a thing that let me know where I stood, given me security/reassurance etc of the kind I needed, then I’d have been alright. But one of them said all the right words but just kept doing the same thing (changing plans at the last minute, dropping me further down his priority list every time we made plans) and the other, when I asked ‘how do you feel about me?’ talked for a good ten minutes without actually saying anything of substance. And that was a good enough answer for me. I want to stress that these men are both very lovely dudes, and I was extremely lucky to know them, and very grateful for the time we spent together. I have no hard feelings towards either one of them, and would happily buy either of them a pint if they happened to be in my area. They just weren’t able to give me the clarity and emotional honesty that I need in my connections. I don’t necessarily need depth or intensity of a relationship, but I do need to know where I stand, and I need for ‘where I stand’ to be something that isn’t a secret I have to try and guess at.
Beautifully written
This has reminded me of something I was going to tell you in the runup to the next Zoom call… Gotn, you ALWAYS have permission to bother me, check in, remind me of something I’ve committed to, or ask if I can help with something. Fuck “no worries if not;” let’s go for “no worries at all” 😀
Ouch, I feel seen.
I’ve just searched for the phrase “no worries if not” in my online chat to a certain important someone in my life. He’s possibly the person with whom I feel safest and most able to be myself. And I found that phrase 30 times. That kind of shocked me, and gave me something to think about. But also highlights how, for me, much of this is about how I am, rather than about others’ behaviour towards me.
I’m pretty sure I’ve said that first one word for word :|
Heartbreaking. x
My god. I used to say this a lot as I’m sure everyone does at some point. Sometimes it was a confidence thing (lack of) that a girl pointed out to me once. But I saw it more as a ‘I really don’t want to impose myself on you/ pressure you into anything’ stance. It was (still is i guess) a ‘I’m here for you and want to do this with you’ offer, with an ‘I know you have anxiety and so here is a get out clause if you really don’t want to’ statement.
Thank-you for sharing GOTN!
wow, that was raw and real emotional if I was one of the aforementioned dudes I would tell this lovely freaky lady yes to every question she asked and I would tell her name the time and place and I will be there that in hand and how badly it would make me feel to know she has been in her head beating her self-up or for ever making her second guess herself on her worth and I am that I hope those dudes don’t throw the Love word around because I rarely tell people that only people I care about and finally I would tell this sexy slut that her ass would of already been wearing my hand print on that ass if she would ever return a text message or phone call because I find it hard to believe that these dudes wouldn’t try to contact a sexy bitch that loves to fuck and if that wasn’t enough to top it off or cherry on top of the Sunday loves to suck cock ! Well those dudes are just simply junk