As someone who very strongly identifies with certain submissive nicknames (‘good girl‘ – unngh) and utterly recoils from others (‘babygirl’ – meh), I’m always fascinated by the details of other people’s kinky identities. Are you more of a ‘Domme’ or a ‘Top’? Do you see yourself as ‘Sir’ or “Daddy’? Are you a nonbinary kinkster with a fucking cool gender-neutral moniker like ‘Boss’ or ‘Your Majesty’? Love it. Today’s guest blogger, Anna Syrma, responded to my call for guest blogs from women that might be suitable for International Women’s Day with this gorgeous piece about her kinky identity. I was inundated with amazing ideas, by the way, so we’re gonna stretch IWD out for at least another month (subscribe for updates!), but I picked this as the first post because it’s all about how Anna Syrma discovered, then embraced, her kinky identity as a Goddess.

Find and follow Anna on BlueSky and Mastodon.

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I’m turning 40 this month. Which feels weird when I write it down like that – in my heart I am (and will always be) nineteen – just on the cusp of adulthood, excited for what it might bring. In reality, I’ve been an adult for longer than I was ever a child. I pay council tax! I have a bad back! I own three different types of spirit level! I wouldn’t normally announce my birthday on the blog, but because this one’s a biggie I thought it might be fun to mark it by throwing a virtual party – support me on Patreon (at any level) and sign up to the Zoom hangout on Sunday 24th March – 6-8pm UK time, though we may well go on longer than that if people want to. I’ll read you a selection of my favourite posts from the last 12.5 years of this blog, and we’ll drink stuff and chat and you can ask me anything you’d like to know about GOTN, the audio project, sex blogging and which of the many many exceptional cocks I’ve ingested over the years is my special absolute favourite. Meanwhile, here’s a random list of 40 things I’ve learned before the age of 40.

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As a general rule I don’t like people quoting me in guest blogs on my own site. It feels too recursive and narcissistic, even for me. BUT. Today’s guest – Oscar, big big thanks to him – has a really important point to make, and straight people (STRAIGHT MEN) need to hear it. It’s about a topic extremely close to my heart, and vitally important in my (and so many other people’s) dating lives. Actually fuck it, not just their dating lives, their lives in general. Today we’re gonna talk about jokes. Specifically, why it appears that straight men can’t joke with women who they might also be interested in boning…

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We’re both quite sweaty, that’s the first thing. This picture is all the hotter because of that. There’s a light sheen on the side of his face, but I – as ever – am the sweatiest. Hair in wet curls plastered to my neck and forehead, the white shirt I’m wearing absolutely drenched to near transparency. The photo was taken at a fun, bouncy gig. We’d been dancing.

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For a long time I’ve had a discomfort with the way that sex is often carved out and set aside from the rest of any given story. Whether it’s people complaining about how ‘unnecessary’ sex scenes are in movies, or books which get dismissed as trashy just because the characters have the temerity to fuck, I find the way sex is treated in media both frustrating and fascinating. I’d never really been able to articulate the root of this discomfort, but when LJ Amber got in touch with this week’s guest blog, I suddenly got it. They argue the case for sex in stories with such power and clarity – I am so grateful to them for sharing their perspective, and I agree so wholeheartedly with their point. LJ Amber’s debut novel – Song of the Wild Knight – is coming out next week (29th Feb), so please do check that out and share this post if you agree. Here’s to sex in stories, and the beautiful stories we tell through sex.

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