I had scheduled in some time today to write a full post about Eroticon 2023 – I knew there’d be a tonne of stuff to cover after the weekend, and I had high expectations of myself that I’d be able to post something that covered a lot of detail. But having slept in till 1pm then frantically written some other stuff that’s more PR-focused than bloggy, my body and brain are both telling me to stop being a dickhead and have a rest before I tackle the big stuff, so I’m going to do a quick three things I loved about Eroticon 2023 (one speaker, one sponsor, and one wonderful moment) with a promise to get a fuller post live a little later in the week.

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Note: this wank tale involves the fetishisation/kinkification of something that I know can be distressing to some people (erectile ‘dysfunction’/delayed (or premature) ejaculation). Know that in real life there is still plenty of fun to be had if you can’t get an erection and coming ‘too soon’ is INCREDIBLY HOT in its own right. However, sometimes things that are distressing can also be hot to kink, and this fantasy about having a horny cuck guy hold my hand while I get fucked by someone else just so happens to lean on that idea. 

You can’t fuck me, that’s the foundation of this. Frame ‘can’t’ however you like, but fundamentally it must be based on something you see as a failing, and my subsequent refusal to let you enter my cunt only serves to enhance your shame at not being good enough. You’re unable to fuck me because you can’t get your dick hard, for instance. Or you’re too prone to coming too quickly or not at all. Perhaps your dick isn’t adequate for what I want: you can’t fuck me intensely enough or fast enough or (better) with the firm, slow strokes that leave every atom of my cunt feeling stretched out and rubbed raw.

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I was introduced to today’s guest blogger, Clara (@author_dunn on Twitter) by another incredible writer, who popped up in my DMs singing the praises of Clara’s cunt-dripping filth. And they were right: her filth is absolutely glorious, I adore it. There’s a softness to the feelings that surround the intensity and directness of the actual fucking, and that kind of writing presses so many of my buttons. I loved it so much I have another piece from Clara coming up in a few weeks too. For now, enjoy this delicious story about birthday sex, Harry Styles and soundtracks to (not) fall in love to…

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As a general rule I never have enough confidence in my own music taste to recommend what I like to other people. Most of my partners have preferred me to uncritically subsume their own playlists rather than contribute suggestions of my own: they rarely ever let me pick the music. As a result, not only am I suffused with a vague sense of embarrassment when talking about music, I have rarely spent much time actively seeking out new bands. But recently I found a band who make my heart swell with joy, and their latest album gave me powerfully horny ideas. I hope they will forgive me for taking this to such an X-rated place, but I’m gonna talk about Solid Gold by Holy Moly & The Crackers: the fuckiest album I have heard in a very long time.

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I get asked a lot by journalists what makes audio porn more ethical than video, and every time I’m asked, my answer is the same: it’s not. Is an Mp3 more ethical than an Mp4? It’s a nonsense idea – like arguing that podcasts are more ethical than TV. Audio is merely a different medium by which you convey and enjoy porn, and although it may require a different focus when you’re considering how to do it ethically, the medium itself doesn’t negate the need for an ethical framework. Believing that audio is just naturally ‘ethical’ and good while video porn is ‘unethical’ and bad (and harmful to women!) is likely to lead to complacency on the part of those who produce it, not to mention a harmful and regressive increase in sex work stigma directed at our colleagues in video. Let’s break this down.

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